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Growing up

It’s been a while since I’d had a good cry. I used to cry every-other day, at least. I don’t remember what I would cry about. Probably nothing very important. I’m just a very emotional person. So the fact that I haven’t cried in months, probably meant my emotions had been held captive for too long.

I had just laid my daughter down for bed. She was wound up and trying hard to avoid bed time, so she cried for a few minutes before falling asleep. Even though it can take from just a few seconds, to five minutes, every moment feels like forever. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but most of the time she goes down without a hitch, so nights like these where she doesn’t are torture (for me).

I had come home from work that evening to pick her up and go back out to the store. It would have been much easier to just stop by the store on the way home, but I never pass up an opportunity to bring her with me. We went to a couple fabric stores, then came home for a photo shoot. I kept her up past her bed time playing, making her laugh, and chasing her around the living room.

Her laughter is the best sound in the world. Her cries are the worst.

I lied in bed and reflected on on fun evening. There were a few times I helped her stand up and she could balance on her own for a couple of seconds before falling into my arms. Selfishly I don’t help her do this very often because I’m not ready for her to walk. Because walking means “toddler” and I don’t want to loose my baby. Time has flown by so fast and just thinking about it brings me to tears. And this is when the water works started.

“I’m so torn,” I told my husband through my tears. “Sometimes I want to keep working and make a lot of money so we can have nice things. But then other times I feel like I’ve missed our whole daughter’s life because I’ve been working.”

Just earlier that day I had told my husband about my friend‘s new camera, how awesome it is, and how someday I’d like one. Along with an iMac, and other goodies. Of course the longer we save the better, and the longer we both work full-time, the more we’ll be able to save. But at the same time, this past year has flown by so extremely fast, and I feel like I’ve missed it.

“You haven’t missed anything,” he told me, trying to cheer me up. “At least two hours a day while you’re gone she’s sleeping. So that’s 10 hours a week. Then we take a walk for a half an hour a day, and she eats for awhile, and we watch sports for two hours, so you’re not missing much.” He said.

“But we could be going out and doing fun things,” I started sobbing. “And she’s big now, and she used to be small, and maybe it wouldn’t seem like she’s grown so fast had I been home.” My reasoning may sound silly, but it made sense to me.

“No,” he told me. “I’ve been home with her every day and time has still gone by really fast to me. Plus she’s cooler now that she’s bigger.”

“But I like having a baby I want her to stay a baby.”

“Well she won’t. She has to grow up. People grow up. Where is this coming from?”

“I like having a baby, we should just have another one every time they turn into toddlers, and keep having babies until I’m sick of them.”

“So we’ll have one more.”

“No, like 10 more.”

As usual, he got me to laugh and almost forget why I was crying, but writing this post still makes me emotional. I know as every stage ends there’s a bit of sadness. But then a new one begins, and from what I hear it gets better.

Does time just go fast for me because I’m working and away from her 9 hours a day, or does it go by this fast for everyone?

I’m trying to think when the most influential time to be home with your children is. When they’re older, in school, and need help with homework? I can visit for field trips, parties, and what not. But that school-age is when more moms seem to try to return to work. Plus, my career isn’t exactly one you can leave and re-join as you please. And I love what I’m doing.

My life is so much more worthwhile now that my daughter is here. I’m so much happier, despite less sleep, less time to myself, and less energy. If I waited a few more years I could have been a full-time mom from the start. Now I’m missing at least nine precious hours at least five days a week. And once you start it’s like a domino effect. If you want kids close in age you’re thinking about another after a year or so, and I can attest that that is no time at all. Then, once you have another you’re faced with the same challenges as the first times two. Then 18-20 years later they’re adults and you have college and missions and weddings to worry about.

Moms with kids older than one–Tell me there’s still much fun to be had, that toddlers are fun. That the terrible twos, threes and fours are worth it. That I don’t need to have 10 more babies to fulfill my baby fix. That kids aren’t like puppies and that they are still cute when the grow up. Please, tell me I haven’t missed much yet, that there are still good times ahead.–That the fun is just beginning.


Kimberly says:

I for one feel the same as you do..minus thinking about having another. My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and she is my first and she will remain my one and only. So I totally feel jipped that she refuses to stay little -lol! She has grown so fast and has developed this personality that amazes me daily. Even though she has gotten older she still is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and she never ceases to amaze me. As they grow into “toddlerhood” you get to watch them develop into their own little person! Along with their own little personality and attitude! You have done an amazing job making/saving memories for the two of you for years to come and that is so priceless and an amazing blessing! So even though it seems like they grow by leaps and bounds overnight all you can do is hold on to your special moments and enjoy watching and experiencing their own little journey with them 🙂 or atleast thats what I tell myself to make it half way ok! lol

Amy Lynn says:

I have a 3.5 year old and a 3 month old. While I LOVE the sweet baby stage, my favorite is definitely toddlerhood. My son started getting REAL fun around 18 months and it just keeps getting better. Yes, there are some terrible attitude issues we are having to deal with (oh the joys of 3) but each new stage turns out to be my favorite. I just love seeing him play and use his imagination. I have loved seeing his personality develope and finding out how hilarious he is! I hear you about not wanting to lose your baby… but toddlers are so much fun. Challenging, but fun. 🙂

And plus, you can always have another one in a year or two! 3 years between my two has been great. I get the best of both worlds! Independent toddler and wee little baby! 🙂

jennie w. says:

I swear they get better as they get older! Toddlers are so cute you’ll just die. And it gets better from there. I love hanging out with my teenagers. The first time you watch Pride and Prejudice with your daughter and she loves it is INCREDIBLE!

Mandy says:

Ohmygoodness… Paisley, my 9-month-old daughter, cut her first tooth yesterday and I had the exact same emotions and basic jest of a conversation with my hubs. I feel so torn as I see her leaving more and more “baby” behind and becoming a “big girl.” I believe these feelings are normal and that as our babies learn and grow, the panic at them not being babies anymore will be cancelled out and then some as we watch them become amazing people. Their accomplishments will trump anything we’ve ever felt and the process will become sweeter (or that is my hope). You are doing great. I have similar feelings as a working mom, and you are doing terrific.

i felt the same way being a working mom…like i was missing so much. so i went part-time after much prayer (she was 19 months old). it’s fabulous for us and i don’t feel like i’m missing hardly anything. there’s a lot of difference in 4.5 hours verses 9 hours…or at least to me anyway. but just because that works for us doesn’t mean i works for everyone. you just have to find a happy medium.
i will say that we wanted #2 super quick and started trying when mary margaret was only 4 months old…well, fast forward 25 months and we’re *still* not pregnant (we’re adoption now). i so wanted my babies close together, but now i’m okay with–and even happy about–them being 3+ years apart. more baby/toddler phase for me to love on. 🙂

Jessica says:

It’s not just you. I stay at home with my kids, and I can’t believe how fast time has flown with my second baby. He’s almost 11 months old, and it feels like just yesterday that he was first placed in my arms.

It IS hard to think about your baby growing up, but for me, it feels like each stage is better than the last. It’s so fun to watch my 3-year-old learn and grow, and it’s my favorite part of the day when he gives me a big kiss and tells me, “I love you, Mommy.” Every stage has its hard times, but they all have their wonderful times, too.

Veronika says:

The love you have for your baby girl, I have for my 2 boys, so I know where you are coming from! They grow up quick no matter what your employment status is! It’s just life. 🙁
When your baby daughter becomes a toddler it is absolutely amazing! She will be walking, sadly yes… but she will walk into your arms and hug you! She will be talking more and know her abc’s but she will also know how to say “Mommy, I love you!” and that right there is better than changing diapers and staying up late 🙂
When she becomes a toddler and you take her places she will understand what is going on better and will be learning and she will always learn throughout her life, which means she will always continue to amaze you! No matter what age she is 🙂
Although, after my first son turned 1… we had another! 🙂
{just sayin…}

I have a moment when each kid gets older! I have 2…my daughter is about to be 7 in 6 days! I a having a hard time. I love all the stages really. My 3.5 year old is making me yearn for a little baby again though.
The fun is JUST beginning. For real. Ages 1.5 – 4 are so.much.fun. Time flies with kids..our parents were right! Hang in there!

Lesley says:

I’m not sure how I found it, but I have been really enjoying reading your blog for a month or so now. Keep up the great insights — you have a gift for capturing and communicating the emotions of motherhood. And I love how you record those beautiful moments with Lil’ J in captions and daily photos! What a treasure.

I agree with previous commenters in that children (babies) just become more fun with age. Every single new stage has become my new favorite, which blows my mind since the last one was always sure to be my ultimate-all-time favorite. The trials of each stage (which definitely are tricky in toddlerhood!) at least draw me closer to my children in the long run, as we work to figure it out together. My boys are now 2.5 and 4. So fun, and I don’t even wish to go back to those early, special times when they were babies, even though I loved them too.

I’d be lying if I said you weren’t missing out on things though. Not every motherhood moment is great, and there are some entire days of my job as a SAHM that I would just as soon forget! My boys, if there were old enough, would probably say the same thing! But there is something to be said about knowing that I was actually there for all of it; the good, the bad, the boring and the monumental. No opportunities forfeited, whether I seized them or not.

My own mother loved her career in Interior Design. She truly has a gift for it and has been very successful and felt fulfilled in her work. (And I now love when she comes to my home to help me redesign!) Your motivations for pursuing a full-time career in early-motherhood seem similar. But I have virtually no memories of my mother until I was a teenager. I do, however, have tons of memories of my various babysitters and their children. Happy memories, yes. But they aren’t of my mother.

She felt like it was the right thing for her to do when her kids were little. And perhaps it really was. But there is a cost, nonetheless. And I figured that side ought to be represented in your comments section.

Thanks for producing a fabulous blog! I am always happy to see it light up on my Google Reader.

Vanessa says:

Hi Jen,
I love your blog and I particularly love this post because it deals with emotions I visit regularly – or do they visit me? Anyway, I actually just posted on my own blog 2 nights ago on this very thing but from a slightly different angle.
I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and for me, I decided to be a full time stay at home Mama so that I could enjoy every moment with my babies… and in doing so have had to go without some material things and luxuries I used to enjoy. I can say however that it’s been a decision I’ve never regretted and for our little family, it’s absolutely been the right decision.
Like everyone before me has said, that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.
Can I just say that although I’m home all day with my babes, it still goes by really fast. Get pregnant with number 2 and the mourning you feel for Lil J’s babyhood disappearing will lessen. I found having a new baby to look forward to helped me deal with the feelings of sorrow I was having about my Little Miss 2 growing up too quick. And although it does keep getting better, there is nothing like when they’re a little baby. I don’t know what stage I love best – each is equally beautiful. Good luck and thanks for a fantastic blog! x

Tori says:

My son is three weeks from turning two. I’ve been home with him every day of his existence. It still blows my mind how fast it has all gone. I look at his baby pictures and feel like I don’t really remember it. I remember it in the way you remember stories about your parents before you were born because you looked at their photo albums.

But yes. They do get even cuter. I promise! And then they start talking, and say the weirdest, funniest, cutest things you’ve ever heard. You discover they have senses of humor, they have preferences, they get annoyed, they’re PEOPLE. It’s just beyond real. I find that every new age we hit, I love it even more than the last. He does more stuff, he’s more fun to be around (yes, MORE FUN!), and you don’t have to carry them when they walk on their own. 🙂 Which, trust me, is nicer on your back!

YUMMommy says:

Time does fly by fast and I was torn between going back to work or staying at home. Thankfully, I was able to find a part time job bookkeeping and doing virtual administrative work. However, I have to admit that motherhood didn’t get really exciting until she was one and a half.

That’s when she really got good at walking and started talking my head off and learning all sorts of new things. So, while you may feel like you missed out on a lot you really haven’t. Hopefully, God will open up some doors that will allow you to be able to work from home or either spend more time with J without putting a strain on your finances.

HLA says:

First I want to say that I am SUPER emotional too!! And secondly… Don’t worry!!! I have heard the same things from parents with older children. I worry about it too, and we haven’t even had one baby yet!!! But for me, I can’t wait until they are older and I can teach them so much more things!!! For me, my childhood was AMAZING, and I want those experiences for our children. I want to take them camping, fishing, horseback riding; I want my husband to teach them how to ride a bike, and let them drive on his lap when they are 5 or 6. To be honest, the baby/toddler years will be the hardest for me to get through. Plus, they aren’t small for long; they are bigger for most of their life. So that’s why I look forward to the bigger years, because I will have more of them to spend teaching awesome things! 🙂

Amy Lynn says:

I have a 3.5 year old and a 3 month old. While I LOVE the sweet baby stage, my favorite is definitely toddlerhood. My son started getting REAL fun around 18 months and it just keeps getting better. Yes, there are some terrible attitude issues we are having to deal with (oh the joys of 3) but each new stage turns out to be my favorite. I just love seeing him play and use his imagination. I have loved seeing his personality develop and finding out how hilarious he is! I hear you about not wanting to lose your baby… but toddlers are so much fun. Challenging, but fun. 🙂

And plus, you can always have another one in a year or two! 3 years between my two has been great. I get the best of both worlds! Independent toddler and wee little baby! 🙂

jennie w. says:

I swear they get better as they get older! Toddlers are so cute you’ll just die. And it gets better from there. I love hanging out with my teenagers. The first time you watch Pride and Prejudice with your daughter and she loves it is INCREDIBLE!

Erin Marie says:

The time goes just as fast as a stay-at-home mom. And it’s possibly harder to remember to appreciate the little things because you’re around them all the time.

If babies stayed babies, you wouldn’t be able to watch them learn new things. And isn’t that the funnest thing about being a mom? Watching as they catch on to something you’ve been trying to teach them. Having them surprise you with a new trick you didn’t know they knew. Hearing words come out of their mouth that makes you wonder where they hear such things (and then pray it wasn’t from you!). That’s my favorite part.

Jessica says:

It does go by fast. I always think I will remember it, then realize I don’t. I went to my daughter’s pre-school program today and cried. I’m amazed at how she has grown up and become her own little person. She is so much fun now. We play, and read, and have outings. It’s not the same as a sweet, snuggly baby, but different isn’t always bad. Toddlers are fun, they laugh at jokes and draw you sweet pictures, and start making funny observations. Growing up offers more opportunities in some areas, but does leave behind the baby stage. You can’t hold onto that forever, but good things await. Good luck!

Ok, I personally LOVE staying at home with my kids. I have a 5 yr old and a almost 2 yr old. I still feel like I want more, and we will have more, whenever it works for us. My 2 kids are almost 4 yrs apart and that was what worked for us. I stay at home and some days I feel like I have missed out on their childhood. (yeah they are still young, but it’s a feeling that I can’t help but feel.) Anyway, I guess my point is that no matter what you choose you’re going to have days where you feel like they’ve grown up and you’ve missed it. But the most important thing is to do what’s best for YOUR family.

Jenn says:

Hi, I am a long time follower, but I rarely ever comment! I’m in a different situation in that I am a nanny for twins. I started when they were 4 months old, and they just turned 15 months. Let me tell you, after they turn 1 the real fun begins! Their personalities shine through, and as they learn to walk, run, and interact they become hilarious little people! I used to think infants were the most “fun”, but hands down this stage is the best! If you think Lil’ J makes you laugh now, just wait!

Kimberly says:

I for one feel the same as you do..minus thinking about having another. My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and she is my first and she will remain my one and only. So I totally feel jipped that she refuses to stay little -lol! She has grown so fast and has developed this personality that amazes me daily. Even though she has gotten older she still is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and she never ceases to amaze me. As they grow into “toddlerhood” you get to watch them develop into their own little person! Along with their own little personality and attitude! You have done an amazing job making/saving memories for the two of you for years to come and that is so priceless and an amazing blessing! So even though it seems like they grow by leaps and bounds overnight all you can do is hold on to your special moments and enjoy watching and experiencing their own little journey with them 🙂 or atleast thats what I tell myself to make it half way ok! lol

Mandy says:

Ohmygoodness… Paisley, my 9-month-old daughter, cut her first tooth yesterday and I had the exact same emotions and basic jest of a conversation with my hubs. I feel so torn as I see her leaving more and more “baby” behind and becoming a “big girl.” I believe these feelings are normal and that as our babies learn and grow, the panic at them not being babies anymore will be cancelled out and then some as we watch them become amazing people. Their accomplishments will trump anything we’ve ever felt and the process will become sweeter (or that is my hope). You are doing great. I have similar feelings as a working mom, and you are doing terrific.

i felt the same way being a working mom…like i was missing so much. so i went part-time after much prayer (she was 19 months old). it’s fabulous for us and i don’t feel like i’m missing hardly anything. there’s a lot of difference in 4.5 hours verses 9 hours…or at least to me anyway. but just because that works for us doesn’t mean i works for everyone. you just have to find a happy medium.
i will say that we wanted #2 super quick and started trying when mary margaret was only 4 months old…well, fast forward 25 months and we’re *still* not pregnant (we’re adoption now). i so wanted my babies close together, but now i’m okay with–and even happy about–them being 3+ years apart. more baby/toddler phase for me to love on. 🙂

v. wong says:

You know, the baby stage *is* amazing (I’ve just had my second), but the joy my 2yo toddler brings with her discoveries, conversations, songs, games, hugs, kisses, laughter, etc is amazing. And there are challenges with both stages. I worked full-time once my toddler turned 1yo so can empathize with the feeling of missing out. Time does fly but you just have to savor what you can.

Jessica says:

It’s not just you. I stay at home with my kids, and I can’t believe how fast time has flown with my second baby. He’s almost 11 months old, and it feels like just yesterday that he was first placed in my arms.

It IS hard to think about your baby growing up, but for me, it feels like each stage is better than the last. It’s so fun to watch my 3-year-old learn and grow, and it’s my favorite part of the day when he gives me a big kiss and tells me, “I love you, Mommy.” Every stage has its hard times, but they all have their wonderful times, too.

Veronika says:

The love you have for your baby girl, I have for my 2 boys, so I know where you are coming from! They grow up quick no matter what your employment status is! It’s just life. 🙁
When your baby daughter becomes a toddler it is absolutely amazing! She will be walking, sadly yes… but she will walk into your arms and hug you! She will be talking more and know her abc’s but she will also know how to say “Mommy, I love you!” and that right there is better than changing diapers and staying up late 🙂
When she becomes a toddler and you take her places she will understand what is going on better and will be learning and she will always learn throughout her life, which means she will always continue to amaze you! No matter what age she is 🙂
Although, after my first son turned 1… we had another! 🙂
{just sayin…}

I have a moment when each kid gets older! I have 2…my daughter is about to be 7 in 6 days! I a having a hard time. I love all the stages really. My 3.5 year old is making me yearn for a little baby again though.
The fun is JUST beginning. For real. Ages 1.5 – 4 are so.much.fun. Time flies with kids..our parents were right! Hang in there!

Lesley says:

I’m not sure how I found it, but I have been really enjoying reading your blog for a month or so now. Keep up the great insights — you have a gift for capturing and communicating the emotions of motherhood. And I love how you record those beautiful moments with Lil’ J in captions and daily photos! What a treasure.

I agree with previous commenters in that children (babies) just become more fun with age. Every single new stage has become my new favorite, which blows my mind since the last one was always sure to be my ultimate-all-time favorite. The trials of each stage (which definitely are tricky in toddlerhood!) at least draw me closer to my children in the long run, as we work to figure it out together. My boys are now 2.5 and 4. So fun, and I don’t even wish to go back to those early, special times when they were babies, even though I loved them too.

I’d be lying if I said you weren’t missing out on things though. Not every motherhood moment is great, and there are some entire days of my job as a SAHM that I would just as soon forget! My boys, if there were old enough, would probably say the same thing! But there is something to be said about knowing that I was actually there for all of it; the good, the bad, the boring and the monumental. No opportunities forfeited, whether I seized them or not.

My own mother loved her career in Interior Design. She truly has a gift for it and has been very successful and felt fulfilled in her work. (And I now love when she comes to my home to help me redesign!) Your motivations for pursuing a full-time career in early-motherhood seem similar. But I have virtually no memories of my mother until I was a teenager. I do, however, have tons of memories of my various babysitters and their children. Happy memories, yes. But they aren’t of my mother.

She felt like it was the right thing for her to do when her kids were little. And perhaps it really was. But there is a cost, nonetheless. And I figured that side ought to be represented in your comments section.

Thanks for producing a fabulous blog! I am always happy to see it light up on my Google Reader.

Ihilani says:

My daughter started walking at 10 months. Goodbye babyhood! I felt the same way about this toddler that replaced my baby so soon, but you know? That look on her face when she runs smiling at me with her arms outstretched is THE MOST beautiful sight in the world to me. She’s now just over a year and she is so affectionate and loving and she couldn’t reciprocate any of that when she was younger. I feel like all the love I was giving her is coming back to me now and it’s AMAZING!

Amber says:

I can totally relate to this post. I work and my 5 month old baby girl stays home with my husband. I miss her soooo much during the day and there are times when I feel like I may be missing out because she’s growing so fast. I often reflect on how small she was as a newborn and I miss those quiet, still moments when she’d rest on my chest. But at the same time I look forward to seeing her grow and develop. Thank you for sharing!

Vanessa says:

Hi Jen,
I love your blog and I particularly love this post because it deals with emotions I visit regularly – or do they visit me? Anyway, I actually just posted on my own blog 2 nights ago on this very thing but from a slightly different angle.
I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old and for me, I decided to be a full time stay at home Mama so that I could enjoy every moment with my babies… and in doing so have had to go without some material things and luxuries I used to enjoy. I can say however that it’s been a decision I’ve never regretted and for our little family, it’s absolutely been the right decision.
Like everyone before me has said, that doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.
Can I just say that although I’m home all day with my babes, it still goes by really fast. Get pregnant with number 2 and the mourning you feel for Lil J’s babyhood disappearing will lessen. I found having a new baby to look forward to helped me deal with the feelings of sorrow I was having about my Little Miss 2 growing up too quick. And although it does keep getting better, there is nothing like when they’re a little baby. I don’t know what stage I love best – each is equally beautiful. Good luck and thanks for a fantastic blog! x

Not a mama yet but time is flying for me too. I think as we get older the time just goes so much faster!
I say start trying for number two anyway 🙂

Wait until she starts talking, making you laugh with the silly things she says, picking out her own outfits, talking back! It is ALL a fun journey although exhausting so worth it! (how about that run-on sentence..hahah) It IS sad when they “grow up”, but then a new phase begins. You are doing an amazing job!
Lara

Nancy says:

I was at my sisters baby shower and I said to my cousin who also has a toddler “babies are cute but nothing is more fun than a toddler.” she said “you got that right”

They can talk, have tea parties, play soccer, ride bikes, run though the sprinkler… The list goes on. If you think cuddling with your baby is sweet, wait until she hugs and kisses you back and can say “I love you, mommy.”

While it’s hard to watch your baby grow up, the best is yet to come.

carolpie says:

Ok, I am 55 and my kids are 31 and 26. I wish I could do it all over again. I lost a daughter when she was 21 which is the ultimate grief that never leaves. I was a SAHM and am so glad I was, but I still wish I could experience the whole baby, toddler, etc. all over again. I loved it. PLUS, hubby and I both would have liked more kids. I would have loved alot, but my doctor was not thrilled we me doing that, so…
I have to tell you that each age is wonderful and now that my kids are grown that is wonderful also. Being friends with them is amazing. Now I have two grandbabies and I just love them as much as my own. My daughter would love 4 but she really has had dangerous deliveries. She loves those babies also.

BUT we still wish I had more. Each is so different and a real gift from God.

I worked with my first daughter and was home with my second. Even though I’m home with my second now, I feel like her time is flying by much faster than my big girl’s did. It’s just part of life. It’s sad. And I also just told my husband that we need to have another baby because little Ella is growing up way too fast!!!

Angie says:

It seems as if most people have written about how much you love your kid and how fast they grow up. As a working mom who also loves her job even though it is busy at times, take a moment to focus on what you love about your job too, and how you touch peoples lives while you are working. Especially because your daughter is with family (my 10 month old is babysat by family and a friend for part of the time), you have a lot of good things going with this situation. Savor the vacations from work:)

Nylse says:

Let me take a stab at answering your questions – I have 4 children 21,19, 18 and 8.
Time goes fast because you’re busy.
I think your husband is right, you’re not missing much by working.
There is no best time for staying home – when you’re there its the best. I had to stay home at one point when the children were in HS, and it turned out for the best because they really needed me then.
I think if you’re working just to have nice things then you’re always going to feel a bit guilty. You’re going to wonder do you need those nice things. So I would say doublecheck your motivations.
It’s get better as they get older..I wouldnt trade any stage, but I love the young people they have become. They didn’t do that by themselves, but because of what you’ve put in.
A good cry is good…but dont beat yourself up too much. Keep doing what you have to do. Motherhood is a great gift.

I love reading your blog and listening to your very real and honest frustrations. I am a working mom of two beautiful girls, 5 and 1 (on Saturday!). Believe me it will always be hard working but the best advice I can give is to trust your gut. Only you know the best decision for yourself and your family. I know that I am able to provide for my kids and am still able to enjoy all the little things that sometimes I feel that I am missing. One thing I know for sure is that working makes me appreciate the time I have with them even more.
And yes I just cried like a little baby on my girls first birthday but you have so many amazing moments coming up.

I will say this: those “nice things” we could have while I was working (from the time my son was 8 weeks to 1 year) were worth NOTHING when compared to the time I was able to spend with him after I quit. We don’t go on vacations–we camp half an hour away. We don’t have nice phones with data plans–heck, we don’t even have texting! We don’t eat out. We live in a small condo. We don’t have a DSLR. We don’t have a nice TV. We don’t have a nice computer. We don’t have new cars–the newest we have is 8 years old, the other 16. But they’re both paid off. There are some times I kick myself for leaving a great job, but when I finally quit and dropped a good deal on our budget, I couldn’t believe the JOY I had in my life. And when I got pregnant with my daughter, I promised myself I would stay at home with her and care for her.

No, I’m not dogging on working moms. I was one. But the nice things we could have now mean NOTHING to the time I spend with my children. It was my personal decision to advance my time with my kids than to advance my career.

I hope you choose the option that’s right for you!

Mary P says:

I’m on a scavenger hunt to find the best blogs, and I chose yours. I love it! This post stood out to me because I can so relate to it. I love your transparency, and I can feel your heart. When our first daughter was just 3 months old, I was ready for baby #2 because I already missed my newborn. It does go by too fast. Even faster when you add another baby….so be ready for that. My babies are 8 and 10, and I still cry after tucking them in and on the rare occasions that I get to “rock” them to sleep. I think that is part of loving our children.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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