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Getting Pregnant {Again}

It’s amazing looking at the past {almost} three years of my blog and seeing how I’m right back at square one. Except this time, I have a baby. I’m totally content. Honestly, I’m fine and happy with one, and am not feeling the slightest bit pressured to have another.

Sure there are some things that get me thinking. Friends’ pregnancy announcements, General Conference talks on procreating, and lingering just a tad too long on newborn photos of my daughter. But other than that… I’m cool.

Last time I did so much fertility research, I probably could have written a doctoral dissertation on the topic. I was slightly neurotic before even trying to have a baby.

But good things have come from this. I find myself useful from time to time when my friends ask me about getting pregnant. Some are lucky enough not to have to try very hard but others feel like they can use any extra bit of assurance they can get.

In case you’re wondering, here are three simple tips I think can make the most impact:
1. Get a physical. You know, those fun annual appointments you get from your family practitioner? They’ll run all sorts of tests and let you know where you are health wise. They can also let you know if something is off from the get go and save you some time if it’s something that can get in the way of fertility.

For example, after about a year of trying to conceive, one of my best friends found out her thyroid was out of wack. She got pregnant about a month after getting help with that. That is something you’d get tested for during your physical.

2. Learn your body’s workings. You can read books about knowing your body’s cues to when you’re fertile. I recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. … Either that or just do it every-other day.

3. Keep your legs up. Simple, yet effective. (Not all day every day, just for a little while after doing the baby dance)

And that, ladies (and gentlemen?) are some things I learned in my years of obsessive studying.

Next time around I’m sorta hoping I’ll forget everything else I learned and keep these three things in the back of my mind. Looking back I sorta went a little crazy, worrying about not being able to have children or being “punished” for waiting too long (oh dear, don’t let me get me started on the mind tricks I played on myself).

Like before, part of me finds myself battling internally with questions about how the future will pan out. I like to think I’m in charge of deciding when and how I’ll have my next child but the reality is, I’m not.

I found a post I wrote in May of 2009 debating taking a First Response fertility test to give me a heads up if I would have trouble conceiving. I freaked out every time I saw the commercial and went back and forth on deciding weather or not to buy the test.

You’d think now that I have one kid I’d be like “oh, yea I can have a kid, no worries” but a little birdie put a phrase in my mind years ago that’s stuck and made me curious again. That phrase being secondary infertility. It’s like it sounds–When you have a successful pregnancy but then can’t get pregnant again.

About a month ago this First Response Fertility test was tossed back in my life again and this time I took it.

Discreetly.

… Attempted discreetly that is.

I capped and threw the pregnancy-looking-test in my purse after my husband walked in while I was waiting for the results to show up.

It looks just like a pregnancy test but results take 30 minutes to read instead of 5, and it tests your FSH level.

No line, or one light line and one dark control line means you’re all good in that department. My results read normal (yay!). While this isn’t the answer to every possible problem it’s still nice to know.

So it appears I’m re-tracing some of my steps. It’s different this time though. I feel a little more embarrassed sharing by back and forth to-baby or not-to baby because 1. I have a child already, and 2. I have a much larger audience. Last time I ranted into outer space the Internet and hardly anyone read. Now I have people getting these things emailed to them, and relatives bookmarking my blog on their iPads. Oy!

But I should probably give #2 the same privileged of reading how seriously thought-out, loved and anticipated they were before they arrived right? Wrong? Oh, I haven’t a clue!

Disclosure: I was selected for this #spon post by the Clever Girls Collective #CleverTTC, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. This opportunity sorta timed out great with the beginning of my new pre-ttc journey.


I know exactly how you feel about the anxiety of trying for number two after a successful first pregnancy. I had my daughter almost 7 years ago. I got pregnant the very first time, had a great pregnancy and never had any problems. Now my husband and I are hoping for number 2 some time in the future and secondary infertility has hit us. I’ve been through all sorts of tests and medicine. Nothing has worked so far. We have decided to relax and things will work out in their own time. Good luck on number two. =]

Definitely give #2 that privilege! I kept a journal during my first pregnancy but not my second and now I regret it! (But… I did write a story to help my daughter get excited about my pregnancy and becoming a big sister) since I have girls I KNOW they will/would have enjoyed reading the entries! Now I am pushing myself to keep diaries for them I love going back and reading them and my 5year old is just tickled pink when I read it to her!

Definitely give #2 that privilege! I kept a journal during my first pregnancy but not my second and now I regret it! (But… I did write a story to help my daughter get excited about my pregnancy and becoming a big sister) since I have girls I KNOW they will/would have enjoyed reading the entries! Now I am pushing myself to keep diaries for them I love going back and reading them and my 5year old is just tickled pink when I read it to her!

Jade says:

I just want to tell you that your baby is so gorgeous. 🙂

AmyRyb says:

I am right there with you. My son is three and I’m ready for another (most days), but my cycle refuses to regulate itself so I can ever attempt to see if I’m still fertile. I think birth control spoiled my system a bit. This happened last time, too, but we got pregnant without even knowing it. This time I’m trying not to get annoyed that this is all throwing off my timeline, and just wondering when/how this is all going to shake out. I’m also struggling with how to document it all on my blog. I didn’t start blogging last time until I announced I was pregnant, but this time I’m struggling to find the right balance between sharing the struggles and maintaining our privacy. I’d like to document all of it, but that makes a big announcement sort of anti-climactic and just sets us up for letdowns. Such a fine line. Good luck in your journey 🙂

YUMMommy says:

I don’t think you should feel embarrassed about your back and forth on when to have another baby. It’s a huge decision and if it helps you to stay sane to talk it out here on the blog do so. Also, don’t feel pressured to have to document this process publicly. You can still document the process for baby #2 in a private baby journal if you want.

Good luck on whatever you all end up deciding on.

Maybe I should take one of those test… Are they expensive? Hmmmm.

I hope I am not double commenting again. I am not very computer savvy obviously. Anyways. Just gonna say. Thanks for the info.. maybe I should get that test.. hmmmm… something to think about
kirajanie.blogspot.com

Jennifer says:

I was the same way with mine! I was obsessed and worried the first try. It took 7 months and I was worried…especially when it seems relatives look at their DH and they are pg. 2nd time around I tried not to be so obsessed. 2nd time took only 3 months. I plan so much that when I’m ready, I’m ready now. lol

With all the research, you realize that each cycle is only a 25% chance and how many have infertility. I wish I could help those that have fertility issues and I feared having issues myself.

Oh and I didn’t blog about trying or even write it down really. :}

Best wishes…for when you are officially ready.

Jenny says:

I just stumbled onto your blog through Pinterest and this post hit a personal chord with me. I go back and forth so much on when to start trying for #2 also! I have no baby fever, in fact, the thought of another baby still makes me cringe a little. I am enjoying (mostly) being a mom to my daughter, however, she is past 2 years old now and I don’t want kids too far apart from each other. Right now my biggest reason for having another one is so my little girl can have a sibling. I am slowly working through all of the anxiety around having another baby, it’s not an easy decision! It is absolutely a personal choice made between you, your spouse, and the Lord. Prayer helps a lot too. 🙂 Good luck with your decision making. I understand what it’s like!

Chelsea says:

We are currently *secretly* trying to conceive our first. I am temping and charting and it was so great to read your post and have you encourage women to understand their bodies. I think far too many women are walking around not knowing anything about their fertility.

My mind is going crazy right now during our TTC journey. I am going through some health issues right now that have me questioning whether biological children are in our future. It’s crazy what us ladies go through even it’s only in our heads.

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget

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I'm a former journalist, and lifelong creator striving to make the world a better place. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day by cherishing our individuality and celebrating our differences.



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