It hurts worse than I thought… A lot worse actually. And I don’t know why it’s taken me by surprise. I’m not sure what I was expecting, what I am expecting. I just know it doesn’t feel good at all.

It’s hard to imagine what it’s like standing on the other side of the fence if you’ve never been there. I underestimated this side. I thought I’d be happy to be making progress, but I’m apparently a lot less patient than I thought I was. My over-prepared, over-zealous self has been slapped in the face with a brutal reality check. … Yea, this thing called life, it’s not always fair, and I won’t always get it.

It was so easy for my friends. So easy for my mom. I know I’m not one for good luck, but I couldn’t imagine why couldn’t this be “easy” for me too. But that’s not the case, at least not for now, and I’m beginning to feel ok with that, but still fear the unknown of how long this wait may be.

I feel pathetic knowing so many people have experienced so much worse than me, for such a long time, and here I am disappointed after a matter of weeks. Who am I to complain? I guess anyone couldn’t help but feel a little let down, no matter what the time table.

After testing twice only to see a single line I expected the aunt I forbade to return. Then my temperatures dropped and I knew it would be another month of excitement, waiting, and most likely disappointment.

During my emotional roller coaster a few thoughts came to mind, one: “Sometimes you’ve gotta experience sadness to truly know joy.” Maybe I’d never understand the true joy of success if it wasn’t for failure… At least once. I imagine it will only make accomplishment feel that much better.

I tried to relax. I’ve been doing yoga, I’ve been meditating, praying, and listening to Circle+Bloom. I was trying to find a way to cope with disappointment month after month if need be–Something I could look forward to every month of my stupid aunt kept coming back. …And even though I was in, what felt like, a state of pure confusion, all of a sudden a clear thought came to mind: “Serve others.”

I know I’ve heard this concept over and over at church… And it’s a rule that’s always sure to blow my blues away.

First I thought I could donate extra hair bows I have to a children’s hospital. It’s a small token, but something that would put the smile on faces of little children, and hopefully brighten their day. That was a plan. But then my plan grew… I thought “what if I make hair bows and raffle them off on my blog and do a fundraiser?”

I remembered the many generous fundraisers my friend Danielle has done on her blog, and my idea blossomed more and more, and the support I’ve gotten just a couple of days has blown me away!

Not long after starting this blog I was re-introduced to the remarkable charity, March of Dimes, fighting for the births of healthy babies. Their message to women after, during, and even BEFORE pregnancy about prenatal care is priceless, and they do so much for mothers and their babies, both before and after they’re born. I can’t think of anything that could lift my spirits more than contributing to a charity like this, and getting support from fellow bloggers like you.

Depending on how this one goes, my goal is to try to raise money for a charity every-other month I have an unsuccessful cycle. So I’ll start the first fundraiser today, and run it for a full month, donate 100% of the funds raised to March of Dimes in October, and November we’ll see what happens 🙂 I figure it’s a win win if I can keep this going.

So what’s in it for you… Amazing prizes from OUTSTANDING sponsors, who are generous enough to donate a product to this cause. I will be featuring each of them through the month so you have a chance to get to know more about them, and what they do.

You can enter the drawing by donating to the March of Dimes fundraiser.

Again… 100% of what’s collected will be given to March of Dimes! It’s for a good cause and it can be a tax write off 😉

I really hope you’ll participate and tell your friends! If you don’t need these prizes, remember, Christmas is around the corner, and all of these make for great gifts! Either way, you’re donating to charity!

You can donate by clicking the “Chip in” button to the right or by clicking here.
Paypal is not associated with the drawing, just with the donations. Paypal does not participate in raffles. That is a seperate thing. Questions about donating for the drawing? Email me at babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com.

I’m excited to see the power of my bloggyworld, and see what we can do! If you can’t chip in, I understand, but please help me spread the word!