Every week I drive by our lot where our new home will soon stand. I’m tempted to drive by every day, but I’m trying my best to resist and save a bit of gas money. The builder will pour the foundation sometime this week, and before we know it, we’ll be planting our roots in our new home.
A lot of people don’t like change. My husband loathes it. I love it.
I like moving new places, meeting new people, learning new things. That could be why I’m more excited than nervous about our move. But I am a little anxious about so much changing at one time.
Next week, I’ll no longer be a weekend anchor. The week after that I’ll be a part-time employee and full-time mom of two. If you asked my 20-year-old self if I wanted to be a stay at home mom I probably would have laughed in your face. And now, here I am, staring at that reality.
I feel like all of these changes are giving me a chance to kind of re-define and re-discover myself.
Will I join new neighborhood play groups, and make friends with people in our new ward (church congregation)? Will other people on our street have kids my children’s’ age? I feel like it’s a chance to start over. If that makes sense. Not that I don’t like the way things have been going, or that I’m embarrassed by my past. But in a way it is like starting a new life.
Lately I’ve been debating changing the name of my blog. I’m not sure if I’ll be making any more babies. Definitely not anytime soon. Not ever if it’s up to my husband, but I’m not convinced he can’t be persuaded in another four or five years. But if my baby-making days are over does my name just seem silly?
I’ve been toying with other names for my blog. I love living life to the fullest, capturing moments, taking risks and leaps of faith. I bought a new domain name with these things in mind but I’m not sure I’m ready to make a permanent change just yet.
Another blog change I’ve been battling with is occasionally posting more sponsored content. A reader recently shared her annoyance with the more frequent sponsored posts. To be honest, I used to hate them as much as everyone else. And with how frequently I updated my blog, they got watered down and they weren’t as noticeable. I just haven’t had as much time to post my everyday thoughts, but my “assigned” things keep me on tight deadlines. I used to avoid them at all costs but quitting my job puts us in a place where we could use all the help we can get. I definitely don’t want to sacrifice my blog or have it turn into a review hub. I probably get close to 100 pitches a week. Seriously! And I rarely give most a second glance, but the ones I do share here on my blog have to meet certain standards: 1. Awesome 2. I’d buy it 3. A win/win for myself and my readers.
My blog has always first and foremost been my journal, and a scrapbook for my kids but I also need to consider what it can provide for my family. Going forward, I’ll keep them limited, relevant, and try not to loose my voice in them.
My voice. My self. It’s something I’m desperately hoping to hang on to as my world changes. I’d be lying if I said the thought of being home with my kids almost all the time isn’t somewhat terrifying. But I’ll be there helping lay the foundation for their lives, which for now, is where I feel I’m meant to be.