When I was pregnant with my son I had a couple of maternity sessions. Including a boudoir session. I also took my own selfies once a week to document my growing belly. I had quite a few people ask me how I made these images and I promised I’d do a tutorial. In case you missed it, here’s a quick recap of my pregnancy letters project with Big T. It’s also a great demo of going from looking great to grungy, but whatev… Weekly Pregnancy Love Letters
Archive for the ‘project pregnancy’ Category
It was after midnight. My last coworker left the building over an hour before, I was alone and tired. Exhausted from finishing my regular shift, and on to other tasks… Tasks that go beyond my normal daily duties. Tasks I hope will secure my job when I return from maternity leave.
I’m not worried about having A job. I have a contract, and there are these things called “laws” which protect women who have children from loosing their jobs for that reason alone, but those laws don’t necessarily guarantee you the same duties and responsibilities.
My late nights aren’t a rarity right now. It’s the only thing I know to do to better my odds at keeping the same assignments I adore.
I’ve been in my career for about six years. I loved my job as a journalist and have been enriched by the people I’ve encountered in the process of sharing their stories over the years. It wasn’t until recently that I fell into what feels like a perfect combination of roles. No day feels monotonous because nearly every day I’m wearing a different hat and working on an important project. Whether it be covering an important education meeting, helping a foster child to get adopted, or delivering the news, I’m responsible for specific areas of interest and I LOVE it. I can honestly say I love my job. But the more you love something, the harder it is to loose.
Before a woman goes on maternity leave you hear whispering and questions: “How long is she going to be gone?” “Do you think she’ll come back?” It seems as though it’s no secret some women can’t bear the thought of returning to work after setting eyes on this new beautiful being they’ve created. I’ve seen it, and I’ve heard about it countless times. “I just knew I couldn’t leave her,” women have told me, recounting their experiences before they decided to trade in their brief case for diaper bags.
I’ve always known my situation would be different. I’m not in the position, not now, to retire early from my career to raise my child from home. And I’m ok with that. Luckily my husband and I won’t need to use daycare facilities and we have our childcare situation figured out already… Him. But stay at home dads is a whole nother topic which I’ll delve into later.
In the weeks leading up to my temporary departure from work I find myself in a constant panic. What is she comes early and I’m not ready? Oh I’m ready when it comes to things at home. The crib is up, diapers are on standby. We have the necessities we need and the excitement, confidence, courage and faith to raise a new baby. The fear lies with securing the job I love.
There’s a special segment I produce weekly, and I’ll continue to work on until I leave. When the question arose if I’d still be doing it when I got back I didn’t know how to answer. Of course I want to, it’s quite possibly the best part of my job. I know I’m doing a good job, but would they remember the good job I’ve done after 12 weeks of my absence? I couldn’t take a chance.
So I’ve been putting in overtime to produce 12 extra segments before my momentary migration. Twelve segments to fill the 12 weeks I’m gone.
I thought that would be where my work-obsessed antics ceased but unfortunately it’s not.
Months ago I proposed an in-depth report on a topic I’ve been very passionate about. I was recently informed I could pursue it myself… Pending maternity leave. Those three words crushed me. It was like a giant asterisk beside my name screaming “MAYBE.” Yea, well, maybe isn’t good enough. I want to do it, I can’t pass it on to someone else.
I counted backwards from the day they want it to air to my due date then forward 12 weeks. It’s cutting it close. And now I’m finding myself considering something I never saw my self deliberating… Cutting my FMLA time short. All so I can have my cake and eat it too… Or so I think.
Would 10 weeks instead of 12 really make a big difference? It doesn’t seem like it now but I have a feeling I’ll think quite differently in about a month. Is this already happening to me? Already I’m being faced with difficult work-family decisions yanking me between career accomplishments and family. The answer may seem much more simple than it is. I know this now, but I also know I’ve only gotten a taste for what’s to come. Soon, I’ll be feasting in this unobtainable balance.
So will the dangling carrot get me back to work sooner than I had hoped? I don’t know. Luckily that’s not a decision I have to make today. I’m going to wait until I’ve met my daughter and get to know her a little better.
Until then, I’ll be working on racing the clock to secure other elements of my job I want to keep, even if that means working past midnight a couple days a week.
I got my CD of maternity photos yesterday and I’m so happy with how they turned out. If you live in Texas and are looking for a Central Texas maternity and newborn photographer, be sure to check out Forever Bliss Photography. She’s great and her fees are AMAZING! I’m talking less than $100 for the sitting AND the edited prints on CD which you can print out for yourself!
Originally I didn’t want to do outside photos but I realized that it would be nice if my husband were in at least a few of the pictures. I ended up liking those way more than I thought!
I wrote on my Parenting.com blog today about my husband’s moodiness towards posing for photos but he was a trooper for these… Even though he ran to sit in the car after his part.
Little does he know we’ll be doing these shoots just about every season once Ladybug gets here, but I’m hoping by then he’ll be less camera shy. We’ll see.
I uploaded an album of most of my favorites on my Facebook Fan Page, so if you can,”Like” your favorite! I want to get some printed to put in the nursery, and in an album.
Here’s a few of my favorites:
Email me back at babymakingmachine(at)gmail.com and I’ll get you in touch with your prize sponsors!
When I first found out I was pregnant I couldn’t wait to get a big, cute, preggo belly. I wanted to flaunt it and look cute like all of the other pregnant women I saw. i was frustrated at the rate which my stomach was growing… It just wasn’t fast enough. But now that I find myself bumping my belly into spaces I use to be able to squeeze through, and not fitting into shirts I waged would be long enough to last me through pregnancy, things are starting to change.
Regardless, I’m not much of a swimmer anyway (I know it’s great exercise for pregnant women but I have this thing with getting my hair wet) and most likely you won’t catch me in a bathing suit the last nine, very hot weeks of my pregnancy.
Another thing I think is so interesting is the plethora of maternity lingerie! Who knew there was such a market for it? I’ve been one to scurry into my flannel pants and t-shirt as quickly as possible, but having this blog has given me the chance to experiment with a few maternity night-wear items.
I think part of the reason I have some sort of unexplained prudeness lately is maybe cause I feel more “motherly” or something… Does that even make sense? I don’t get it! I mean, I never dressed skanky before but now I almost want to dress like a nun.
Now if you’re pregnant and feeling REALLY confidant, be sure to stop by my blog for a giveaway Sunday… No wait, maybe Saturday, it doesn’t seem fitting for a Sunday. I have yet to try on the little number I’m reviewing (I was waiting until I got big enough, but since I have, I haven’t been brave enough to wear it) and NO there will be no photos of me in it but *ahem* some of you ladies may really like this line.
I wrote a post today on my Project Pregnancy Blog about a woman who was totally rude to me this week and made fun of my adorable shirt (and the size of Spawnie). Here’s an excerpt of “Did I Ask for Your Opinion? … I Didn’t Think So”:
“Since day 1 I’ve been calling my growing baby ‘Spawnie’, so I was sold when I saw this ‘Alien on Board’ tee-shirt from Spegg Wear. I got one and started wearing it the moment my bump started to show.
Now every time I go out with it on I get compliments. I’ve worn it to my OB appointments and to the mall. People always say they love it, and compliment me on how original and funny it is… Which explains why I mistook the woman taking my order behind the burger counter as saying my shirt was “adorable” instead of what was actually calling ‘horrible.’
With a big smile on my face I said ‘Thank you!’ And patted my belly.
‘Thank you?’ She questioned my reaction, obviously annoyed that I didn’t get her insult….”
You can read the rest here.
My baby shower was Saturday and it was a blast! It was a nice mix of friends from work, church, and even online. My friend Raquel, who I originally met on Twitter came and I was so happy to finally meet her face to face!
I had a couple of sets of baby shower invites for work friends, then family and church friends. Here’s one I had made by Storkie. It was fun creating it cause it started out totally different but I was able to select the girl’s skin tone, hair color, the balloon color. It was a fun, and I have to give Storkie a big thanks for sponsoring the printing costs! Everyone loved them, they came in the mail SUPER fast, and the process was easy peasy! I recommend them for sure!
When it came to what to wear, I had a big dress dilemma. Remember how I was asking advice for choosing one? Well that dress didn’t make it in time, I actually still don’t have it. But that’s what I get for trying to do it as a review instead of just buying it and getting it in three days. I ended up squeezing into one of my pre-pregnancy dresses, but because of the cut my tummy was able to fit under it just fine.
I got lost of the way to the party, and caught in the rain, but once I got there it was so fun to sit back and enjoy.
My husband was a trooper too. He didn’t want to be showered but when I got home I put all of our gifts back in the bags and put the tissue paper over them, then I had him open them up all over again so I could see his reaction.
I have to admit, his reaction wasn’t what I was expecting. He was more like “oh, cool” where as I was like “OMG THIS IS SO FREAKING CUTE!!” He asked me why I didn’t just show him the stuff, but he was a trooper and played along with my
Later when I was putting our gifts away I had the strangest feeling come over me… Almost a panic about my daughter surviving. I’m not sure if it’s because of all of the sad stories I’ve read or heard about or what triggered it, or what. I hate feeling like I’m being negative but I can’t help it, it’s hard to describe.
I wrote a post with a shower summary and explaining more of this feeling on my Parenting blog today, here’s a part of it:
Friends threw me a baby shower last weekend, and it was amazing. Friends from different spectrums of my life came to shower me with love and advice. Since we live about a thousand miles from both sides of our family, I didn’t have any kin there, but that didn’t mean they weren’t thinking about us.
Friends from work, friends from church, even a friend I’d made on Twitter celebrated my baby with me.
On the invitation to the party guests were asked to bring a book instead of a card with a cute poem:
“One small request that won’t be too hard Please bring a book instead of a card Whether Cat in the Hat or Winnie the Pooh, you can sign the inside cover with a note from you. Baby will become very smart, if my advice you do heed, if we begin early, she’ll soon love to read.”
I guess my friends thought it was as cute as I did because Baby Girl now has SO many books as a start to her collection. Originally I had planned to put all of the books downstairs on our bookshelf but now I don’t have the heart to take them from her room. I’m going to get some new wall bookshelves this week.We played the classic baby shower games: Deciphering melted chocolate from baby diapers, and guessing the size of my belly.One thing I really enjoyed was the advice cards women filled out for me. I smiled as I opened them all later and silently stored the tips one by one in my mind.But as I got home and started unpacking my gifts and organizing Baby Girl’s room, the strangest, scariest thought came into my mind: What if she never gets to use these?
A sick feeling swelled in my stomach. I didn’t want to think about it.
I’ve heard of women experiencing postpartum depression and having extreme fear of something bad happening to their child. I all of a sudden am questioning myself for taking gifts out of the box, or pulling the tags off of her clothing items, terrified something bad will happen to her before she ever gets to use it…
I’m really enjoying blogging with them and I’m hoping they keep me on after Spawnie’s born so I’d love it if you showed some comment love over there! Thank you!
“I wish someone would have told me to stock up on diapers. Not for my baby but for myself. I use to pride myself in my bladder capacity, and strong urinary tract muscles that would help me form ever resorting to using a public restroom. Last week I had the most humbling experience when I was filling up for gas and the urge to pee hit me.
In my pre-preggo days this wouldn’t have been an issue. Once the initial urge hit I could hold it for another hour or two if I had to. These days, the first sign that I need to go pee means I should have relieved myself five minutes ago.”
… This is a part of my post today on Project Pregnancy, my new blog on Parenting and Pregnancy Magazine’s website! (Yes, I’m very excited about this new gig!). Read the rest here. And if you haven’t yet, say hi over there!