Calling all vasectomy horror stories!
So, um, I have a friend. And her husband is considering a vasectomy, but she’s not really cool with the idea and she believes they need to really think this through.
They only have two kids and although they are probably done there could possibly be one more baby down the road and they’re still pretty young. She thinks if she heard some really good botched vasectomy stories she may be able to give her husband more reason for pause.
Heard of any?
Thanks in advance… I mean, for my friend. She thanks you.
Tags: birth control, he says/ she says, humor, vasectomy
Thanks for share… I would tell your “friend” to research other options you never know the turns life takes and a vasectomy is a bit drastic.
That’s what I’m saying! Thank you!
Well my husband simply won’t consider the idea because he researched them and there’s enough of a risk that it will lower his libido that he’s absolutely not ok with the idea even though he doesn’t want any more children. He said it can cause ED too. I have not verified this through research, but it’s a good place to start…
That is definitely a good place to start! Thanks for the ammo!
I worked for a pregnancy help center for 10 years and I haven’t heard any horror stories of botched surgeries but what I have heard over & over again are babies born after having the surgery. Case in point, one of the counselor’s daughter had just graduated college when they found out they were pregnant again. Her husband had his surgery after they had that daughter (18 years prior) also there are links to dementia & this particular surgery that are not talked about. Good luck making a decision, *cough, cough* I mean tell your friend good luck making this decision, it is a big one!
P.S. Most women that hit their mid-thirties go through wanting another baby and I say this from seeing friends, clients, and family.
Thanks Deborah! Wow! 18 years later! That’s terrifying!!
Noooo! My husband said he would get one after this baby and I’d rather have him do it than me get my tubes tied. I’m going to have to not look or read them! I had to fight for #3 and we are both done after this.
I can say that my Dad had one. We lost my little sister at age 2 almost 3. He had his vasectomy reversed and had 3 more children. I don’t know the odds of a reverse working, but I don’t think it took very long because there isn’t a big age difference between my brother (pre-vasectomy) and sister(post reverse).
Wow Jennifer. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry about your baby sister. But glad you had more later!
Would a less permanent solution, but more long term be more appropriate? Possibly an IUD?
I… I mean, my friend has an IUD. Maybe he’s just trying to be extra careful? I think her husband is pretty paranoid.
Something about my BIL and metal clips?????
And I had my tubes tied and wish I never had. Now I read about health issues.
Metal clips waaa? Haha.
I’m sorry you regret your decision to get your tubes tied. 🙁 I imagine that was a difficult decision to make.
I don’t know any horror stories but I know people who have had more babies after getting a vasectomy… so really is it worth the risk?
During my first semester of college, one of my roommates was utterly shocked to find out her mother was unexpectedly pregnant. Her dad had undergone a vasectomy a few years before, passed the “shooting blanks” test and all. But apparently it reversed itself! And the best part was my roommate’s sister was pregnant at the same time. Father of the Bride Part II in real life, I guess.
Just to offer another perspective … I think vasectomies are awesome — put the burden of preventing on the MAN for once! We have to go through the periods, pregnancy, childbirth AND THEN have to then consider prevention methods … even the Pill is a risky hassle which has the potential to cause all sorts of health problems. BUT, I feel like, what if I died all the sudden and my very-young husband wanted to remarry and have a family with a second wife? I know you can have an actual vasectomy reversal procedure but they’re not always effective. That is something we’ve considered in discussing permanent birth control options for either of us, not just him.
Basically, I wish there was a Pill for men. I’ve heard they’re developing one. I wish they’d hurry up and get it on the market.
I really wish there were more options for men as well. It’s unacceptable that there’s not really. Put the pressure on them for once. I know for sure my husband would be on board to take a pill.
I’ve heard there’s some kind of injection gel that guys can get done that last 10 years but it’s not real mainstream and I don’t even know if it’s done here in the US.
Oh, and the whole death-threat remarriage possibility doesn’t scare him.
Same here. I asked my husband “What if I die or we got divorced?” and he said HE was done having kids. Period. With anyone. That settled that.
Here’s an interesting website: http://www.dontfixit.org
I know SO many couples who had a vasectomy and later regretted it deeply and got it reversed (sometimes 5-10 years later). For a few of them it worked fine, for others they were never able to have more kids. I think there is a 70% regret rate with people who get sterilized before they are 30. It’s also not recommended to make the decision for sterilization in the first year after having a baby. Just some thoughts of mine.
I wish I could have this problem, instead I’m shelling out thousands to try to get pregnant. Maybe your husband can be swayed by the reminder that being fertile is really a blessing? Plus that surgery is so permanent. There’s a chance he could change his mind later, and as people mentioned before, sometimes a reversal doesn’t work. AND as the others mentioned, sometimes the vasectomy doesn’t even work so ya’ll could still end up with baby #3.
My husband absolutely refuses to even consider a vasectomy, because of a guy he knew on his mission. The guys vasectomy was totally normal, but he was so sensitive (you know, down there) that he couldn’t wear pants (or underwear) for 2 weeks. Apparently, certain bits of his anatomy were the size of softballs.
I have to admit, this story kind of makes me laugh because women go through pregnancy and birth and have just as much pain as this guy, without complaining.
Yeah Bonnie, women don’t complain. That’s a laugh.
Women are engineered by nature to have babies. Men’s genitals are not engineered to be cut. I’ve been in horrific pain for 7 years that has destroyed my marriage and life. When vasectomy goes bad it destroys lives. I was fine after the procedure and did not complain. Over a period of 5 years I developed disabling pain that has cost me at least 100K in lost wages but even worse, it has robbed me of vitality and happiness and destroyed my relationship with my wife.
Your glib comments about men are pathetic and misguided. I’m sure you had an epidural and healed up fine after your pregnancy. I’m still waiting for relief and may need a third surgery to get it. Give men some credit.
My husband had a vasectomy in June of 2012. We decided this was the route to go after our 2nd child together, 4th overall was born.
I just delivered baby #5 a healthy 8# 13oz boy on August 18th.
Yes, his first vasectomy was a failure. We found out I was pregnant in January and he went in a got checked the next day and yep, the plumbing was still working.
Also, I had only one period from the time our daughter was born until we discovered I was pregnant since I was exclusively breastfeeding.
Needless to say, my husband had his second vasectomy on July 15th.
My husband had a vasectomy too cut cauterized and put clips. I am hoping it fails do you know how your husband had his done. Thanks
Well, I definitely her husband should be considerate of her. While he might be done, it sounds like she’s not. And marriage is about compromise. I think if finances and everything lines up and they’re able to afford and nurture a third child the door should at least still be left open for the possibility.
And besides there are so many less drastic measures out here that can be taken like birth control, condoms and spermicides.
Let me tell you that vasectomy is NO walk in the park for some men. I have had mine now for 2 years and it is the WORST thing that i have ever done in my life. Constant fullness, pain at times, low desire for sex and basically no feeling when ejaculation occurs.
Think carefully, most men will not talk even when they have problems. Get a vasectomy and if you are one of the unlucky ones, watch your sex life disappear, your relationship crumble and all to be told “Its in your head”, most men give up going to the doctor as the doctor refuses to acknowledge there is a problem.
Do not believe the diatribe given by the doctors. Use other contraception, vasectomy is a barbaric experience.
These women are clueless. I’ve been in pain for 7 years. I can’t sleep through the night and I can’t sit for long periods of time. If they love their husband these women will not push him to have someone burn a hunk out of his scrotum. Wait for Risug/Vasagel. The only reason men have not helped out with birth control in the past, something women like to whine about, is because they have not good options. Condoms take all the pleasure out of sex and vasectomy is permanent and can cause lifelong pain. I’m going to be one of those guys that threw his life away because I was born 10 years to early.
My wife has suffered worse than me and will never ever live down the night she screamed at me about not wanting to take birth control and “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!!!”. She can’t take that back.
Vasectomy is barbaric and unnecessary. History will bear this out.
This is in the church handbook if it helps 🙂
Surgical Sterilization (Including Vasectomy)
The Church strongly discourages surgical sterilization as an elective form of birth control. Surgical sterilization should be considered only if (1) medical conditions seriously jeopardize life or health or (2) birth defects or serious trauma have rendered a person mentally incompetent and not responsible for his or her actions. Such conditions must be determined by competent medical judgment and in accordance with law. Even then, the persons responsible for this decision should consult with each other and with their bishop and should receive divine confirmation of their decision through prayer.”
It was our plan once we were done until we read this. 🙁
Hey thanks for sharing this Chelsea!
Interesting stuff! It makes sense, though I can’t imagine discussing this with my bishop, haha. God, yes. Bishop? Probably not. hehe.
I would not recommend this for anyone. I have had 30 months of hell. 3 surgeries, numerous meds and still only 50 percent back to normal. If you are one of the unlucky ones. It is not worth the risk. There are other birth control methods.
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My husband had a vasectomy a few years ago and I totally regret it. He complains of sharp pains in his lower abdomen and groin as well a sense of fullness. He saw a urologist who prescribed climax and ibuprofen. He does not have an enlarged prostate and the urologist didn’t even do a digital exam to assess!! I have since read that for some men the sperm may build in the cavity and create a granulomatous reaction, which causes nerve pain. The urologists have no idea how to treat this. The surgery has been a huge disappointment and I complete,y regret okaying it.
My husband read this piece over at the Art of Manliness and now he doesn’t want a vasectomy.
Perfect! Thanks Olivia! haha.
I am pro vasectomy, but only if y’all are for sure done having kids.
My husband got snipped after we had our third kid. We are both still pretty young, but we both also felt like we were done expanding our family biologically. And I feared getting pregnant again (I have miserable pregnancies and bad postpartum issues), so a vasectomy was a low risk, outpatient surgery. But if you both aren’t sure you are done, dont let him get one yet!! Vasectomy’s can be reversed, but I don’t imagine that’s a fun thing to have done over and over. 😉
Yea, I want to make sure we’re both 100% done, I think I’d love it after that. But it’s scary making that “final” decision. Hoping to hold off a couple more years to be sure. I’m glad you guys had a good experience, that gives me hope!
I’m sorry, it was the best thing that ever happened to us! All those stories of it lowering libido or whatever, hogwash. (Man I wish, I can never keep up with my husband’s desire to feel me up. It hasn’t slowed down even one little bit!) The procedure took an hour, he laid around with some frozen peas for a couple days, and one week later we were right back at it. BUT, it is absolutely permanent the way they do it these days. If you still want kids, of course, don’t do it! But if you’re done with kids, I see no better or safer form of permanent birth control. Good for your (friend’s) husband for taking one for the team. I get so irritated with those grown up baby men who say they’ll never do it, meanwhile they have no problem with their wives pushing watermelons out of their vaginas in agony. Suck it up, buttercup! Marriage is a partnership. Family planning is a team effort.
Hahaha, I love this Gina! And it’s so true. Marriage is a partnership, and I’m definitely all for him handling the birth control when we’re done done. But ugh! Deciding to be over and done is hard! Do you love having three? I look to you and Jill a lot with your trip of kidlets! haha.
It would be difficult to say that I don’t love having three because I love each and every one of my kids and I cannot imagine giving one of them up. But there are definitely days where I think about how easy it was with less kids. To me, having three is like having ten. Once you’re outnumbered, all bets are off, LOL! For us though, it’s really just such a financial burden. We’ll never fly anywhere because flights for 5 people would blow our entire vacation budget! We had to have a 7 passenger car (to the tune of $30,000) because no smaller vehicle would fit three kids. We had to buy a bigger house because they all needed their own rooms (the boys fought like animals when they shared a room and my daughter is a terrible sleeper and keeps up anyone she bunked with.) It’s just hard. But I also think if you really really want another one and you don’t have it, you may have a little hole in your heart that will always miss the child that could have been. That’s how I felt before we had our third. I *needed* her. Really needed her. Maybe you need another one, too. Or, maybe it’s really nice not to be outnumbered. 🙂
we have talked about it in theory but nothing for sure. At this point we haven’t really felt the need for much of any forms of prevention seeing as how we both want a large family but we have talked about if we were done what our decision would be. The pill makes me a crazy person because I’m very sensitive to the hormones but neither of us feel ok with the idea of something permanent so we will most likely go with an iud. I’ve know enough people that have had babies even taking or having had pretty much all the forms of birth control available to see that if it is to be it can happen regardless!
I am surprised how uneducated people in US are. Vasectomy ruins men sexual life: their sensation goes to almost zero to compare what it was before, brings horrible hormonal imbalance, prostate cancer, an auto-immune reaction to sperm, leads to shrinking testicles and in 20% chronic pain. Since all these issues are very delicate, MOST of the men DO NOT TALK about their sensitivity after vasectomy even to their wives. This procedure is illegal in Poland and many other countries. Here doctors making huge bucks on your husbands, dads, kids health. Read about Vasectomy and never let your husband do it if you love him.
Incredible misinformation in this comment. It’s just simply not true. The complication rates for vasectomies is extremely low, while the effectiveness is extremely high. My husband has absolutely no problems with his libido. Don’t spread misinformation about people’s health. If you want to talk about the risks of birth control, let’s talk about the risks that women take. Women’s birth control is far more risky than a vasectomy.
Gina, this is amazing how confident you are in what you are saying. No even 1% of doubt? Men libido will not change for some time, but sensation changes immediately. How do I know? I am dating a person who did vasectomy 15c years ago. When I ask if there is a change after vasectomy, he said OO yes. I started reading about vasectomy and found about complications , etc.. I asked my men several times if he would do vasectomy if he would know how it feels after, and only on fourth time he said that he regrets it endless and would never do that. Men are loosing sensitivity by 75%. Do you know why? Ask man how he feels orgasm, he will tell you that he feels it in testicles, he has drainage feeling. When vas deferens are cut, it first damage nerves and second disconnect testicles from the orgasm process. Testicles stop produce sperm and testosterone. Bu nature sperm should be released and when there is no exit men body stop producing it to help body to adopt to a new situation.
After vasectomy, man will never have that drainage feeling during orgasm and will never have that tension in the testicles when they don’t have sex for a long time, which is a basic human (men) need. Vasectomy kills that feeling. Orgasm will never be as satisfying as before. I feel sorry for my men but can not help with anything. Why do I care? I have to kids: boys. I don’t want them to have that enjoinment. When i talked to my older son about vasectomy, he told me: ” Mom, I know, our biology teacher told us never even to consider vasectomy. He say it will mess up everything: your sex, your relationship, your health and your happiness.” Ask your husband to swear by your kids that he has absolutely the same orgasm as before. He he will tell you there is no difference, he is not honest. BTW, my boyfriend never told his wife about that. There could be multiple reasons why men don’t want to tell it: he does not want to upset you, he is depressed, he doesn’t feel like you will feel sorry about it. BTW, vasectomy very often leads to divorce.. I wish you and your husband all the best. Just feel sorry for everyone who trusted unethical doctors.
I do find it quite comical that you think you know my husband better than I do. You are NOT an expert on every man’s vasectomy. I’ve been with my husband for 11 years and he has no reason to lie to me. That man wants sex 24/7. I could wake him up from a coma and he’d be ready to go. Having a vasectomy only freed him and increased his libido because he no longer had to worry about having any kids he wasn’t planning for. Your internet anecdotes do not equal research.
Gina its great your husband has had no issues from his vasectomy. You act like 100% of men have no issues due to your husband having no issues. With any kind of surgery there are risks for problems later on. So have some compassion and sympathy for others as well as an open mind. Your attitude suggests that these men are lying. I had a tubal after my third son and have had nothing but issues. Since I am sure you have read that tubals usually don’t have long lasting issues I am sure with your close minded attitude you will say it’s all in my head. Even though post tubal ligation aymndrome is a proven medical condition.
My vasectomy has pretty much destroyed the last 9 years of my life. I am 9 years and 2 months in and still have pain sitting almost every day. This is after spending 8500 dollars to get it reversed. Before the reversal I would wake up ever night when I would get erections in my sleep with a burning pain so bad it would make my heart race and I would come full awake even if I was exhausted. It was like a buring hot needle stabbing me where my scrotum meets my penis, right where the original incision was made for my vasectomy. It was hellish. I was afraid to go to sleep. I started to wake with pain in my testicles too and my testicles started to feel like they were tied up with fishing string. I was afraid I was going to lose one of them. There are guys on my support forum that have had one or both removed to make the pain go away. Do you want that for your husband? For yourself? A eunuch?
My wife came home after a bad day at work screaming at me to do something about birth control and when I said I was not sure about letting someone cut me down there she screamed more. It has destroyed the entire balance of our relationship. I hate working now because I know it will cause me pain. So my career has tanked. I am frequently tired and don’t have much drive to do things I used to love. My testosterone levels are that of an 80 year old man and I’m 50. I used to be a pretty horny guy too.
When someone, a WOMAN, says she’s pro-vasectomy it make me wonder how she would feel if a man said he’s pro-tubal ligation. I am now against both as we did not evolve to have our reproductive tracts butchered for our convenience. It f***ing ruined my life and my wife’s as well.
My husband had a vasectomy almost 2 years ago. We have 4 kids and felt it was right for us. After his surgery, he had pain every time we had sex, and because of that, we had sex less. About 2 months ago, his pain completely stopped. We are 7 weeks pregnant with baby #5. I just wanted to share my story. We have no intentions on redoing the surgery and are actually pretty excited!