This week was extra special because I got to tuck the kids into bed on time not once but TWICE to watch The Bachelorette. Self-care is important ladies and sometimes you’ve just gotta out your feet up and indulge in some reality TV.
So much drama this week. A racist has taken over the plot and black guys are dropping like flies. Let’s dive right in to The Bachelorette season 13 episode 5 and 6 recap!
Previously on the bachelorette… Jealousy… Ego… And racism! The gloves came off and … Dun dun dun. I’m combining Monday and Tuesday’s episodes but I’m flying through the first one because revisiting and lingering on Lee’s time on the show is just too triggering.
Photo via ABC
I have no idea what Lee is doing on this show, how he’s possibly lasted so long (I’m assuming producers and show-planners had something to do with this). But he has gotta go.
All I hear from Bryan is “womp womp womp… I want to win!” Rachel’s “overly charming” red flag just seems spot on to me. I’m not convinced.
Kenny is killing the passive aggressive one liners “Let me whisper it so you’re not threatened… ‘Your a b*tch!’”
JACK IS WACK
Jack: I’m so freaking happy, I love hanging out with her.
Rachel: Help me help me help me!
— Bachelor League (@BachLeague) June 27, 2017
Will is tryna get a racist to be woke but that’s just not happening. Lee isn’t even trying to listen. I found actual footage from that conversation:
Lee: So he’s trying to play the race card?
Kenny: He’s reptiLEEAN he’s a LEEzard.
Ok, he’s finally starting to win me over..
BACK AT THE HOUSE
Eric is mad Rachel is dumping brothas left and right. Anthony is all “you have to build that trust”…
Later Bryan is pumping up Kenny before his 2 on 1, and it’s the first time I for real for real kinda like Bryan.
ONE GROUP DATE HIGHLIGHT
Rachel: Peter notices things about me that no one else does.
Girl, that is your man!!
Peter: Let’s stop kissing so we can talk
I’m not gonna lie, the previews for this episode had me worried Kenny went home right along with Lee after Lee took a swing. I was trying not to fall for it, especially cause Kenny wasn’t wearing white, but still, I was scurred. Totally fell for it. I waited half the season for a scuffle at a Viking reenactment.
I knew racist Lee wasn’t sticking around, so I was glad when Rachel sent him home with quick.
But then Kenny had to leave her stranded in the helicopter to have one final say. I was screaming at my TV telling him to take a page out of Elsa’s playbook. “KENNY LET IT GO!”
Anyway, Kenny calls his baby girl and gets worked up and teddybear Kenny seems to have made a comeback. For now.
Josiah says “My confidence is at an all-time high!” which to me means Josiah is most definitely going home. I was really liking him but his cockiness worked my nerves this week. I didn’t like how he said he’s competitive… He seemed in it to win it. Not to be with Rachel.
I’m not shocked Josiah is outta there but I am surprised that Matt got the last rose. Matt who? I didn’t like Josiah but he had a point about the guys she kept. She shoulda kept Anthony. Their one on one date was boring but he seemed cooler than some of these other dudes.
Eric is keeping tally of how many black guys are left. I think we’re down to three. Thanks Eric.
Eric finally gets the one-on-one he’s been waiting for and he’s like an adorable excited little puppy. Boat ride, amusement park, delicious food. This is the best day of his life. Even I’m jealous of their date!
Then they sit down and Eric opens up and pours his heart out about his past and suddenly I don’t know what’s happening to me. I find myself on #TeamEric.
The guys duke it out in the Viking Olympics and I’m rooting for Kenny. Poor guy thought he was going to get a 1 on 1 after the 2 on 1 but honey shoulda known it don’t work that way.
I was glad he won the Viking crown but it doesn’t matter cause it was so obvious Rachel wasn’t feeling either of them.
Later that evening Bryan steals her away first and it becomes very clear how much stronger her chemistry is with him and Peter than anyone else.*Lightyears* ahead. But I can’t stand Bryan and I’m getting more and more scared that he’s going to win this thing.
I lose it when Rachel asks Bryan if he thinks his family will accept her. WHAT? Girl, you are a CATCH and what you should be wondering is if your family is going to accept his smooth talking fake arse.
No, I’m not buying what he’s selling. I still don’t like him.
You know what? I think he reminds me of Juan Pablo. Smooth talkin, slick and phoney. Is it just me? Tell me it’s not just me!
Kenny is getting in his own head and we can see the writing on the wall. He’s gotta go home. I’m sad because I had such high hopes in the beginning. #Kennyforthebachelor
Peter gets the group date rose and I’m thrilled cause he’s still my favorite. I don’t even care who else gets a rose cause the rest are dweebs. At this point I just like Peter and Eric and they both are safe.
Oh yea, I forgot this date was coming. And I woulda forgot to put it in here it was so boring, at least until the end when interracial dating drama came up again.
Will seems to be scared out of his mind for this date and we’re all beginning to wonder if it’s because he hasn’t dated black women. Will, we’re not that scary, I swear! You can kiss her!
He tells her he hasn’t really dated black women which translates to “I’ve never dated a black woman.” His excuse: “I grew up in a predominantly white area…” Rachel is low key savage and is all “Yea, me too but I dated mostly black guys…”
Back at the house Eric reveals this tidbit to all the white guys. Dean is like “so what?” But Eric schools him on how for a white dude, it’s not be a big deal but for a black dude… A sista might have some questions. The guys nod and don’t say much else. A good move. Seriously, America wasn’t ready for all this!
Then Will opens up about being an extreme passionate person and Rachel is like *screech* “oh hail nah, I aint seen that!”
She’s salty, sends his butt home. And I can’t say I blame her. I had high hopes for him too. And then there was one.
Alex goes home and I’m shocked cause I still don’t even know some of names of the guys she’s keeping around. Adam. Really? And that other tall lanky boring dude that’s unattractive? WHY?
At this point it’s clearly between Bryan, Peter and Eric. I think that’s her order of preference though mine is Peter, Eric then Bryan after the tall lanky dude that’s unattractive.
This moment with Dean still gives me butterflies but I’m gonna stop trying to make Dean happen, it’s not happening.
Previews got me worried about drama between my boyfriend and Rachel but I hope they make it through.
If Peter doesn’t win I hope he’s the next Bachelor. He’s pretty boring but looking at him will make up for that. Unless Eric doesn’t win either. Then it’s a tossup. No, it’s not. Worst case scenario Eric wins and Bryan becomes The Bachelor and I’m left with no more Peter in my life. I’d be ok with Kenny being The Bachelor too but I have a hard time seeing that coming.
Who is your favorite? Are you surprised Alex went home?
Tags: the bachelorette