A Caribbean Vacation Sans Baby: He Says She Says

January 2009

He says: We’ll leave her with grandma and grandpa.
She says: Well she’d like the beach too!

What say you?

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  1. Husband! She really isn’t old enough where she will be able to look back on the memories, and one on one time with your spouse is so important yet so hard to get once kids are in the picture. I say leave her with the grandparents this time, and take a family vacation when all three of you can enjoy the moments together and remember them 🙂

  2. You have to ask yourself if you’ll really be able to enjoy it without her or will you just be worrying about her the whole time. Will he then get annoyed because you’re worrying about her and so the whole trip becomes a waste?

    I’ve known a lot of people who just couldn’t or wouldn’t do it when their babies were still small. I like the idea of bringing grandma if it’s possible.

  3. Depends…. several facotrs to weigh out. When are you planning said trip? Will you still be breastfeeding? It can be awful hard on a nursing baby to be away for over 24 hours from mama. Just depends.

  4. I guess husband win this one. It would be great to have some time together just for the two of you. Clear sand and water, and romantic dinners – with Lil J being the precious third wheel, LOL.

    Lil J will be happy to get to know granpa and granma even better :)!

  5. I would go baby-free if my son was older than a year and the trip was no longer than 3 days. That’s my personal comfort level 🙂 I think that bringing the grandma/grandpa with is an excellent idea!!!

  6. Either go with just hubby or like Amber said, take Grandma and Grandpa so that you’re able to get at least some alone time. I’m sure you’ll all have fun no matter what you decide.

  7. Jennifer, I have been reading your blog for a while, but never commented until now. GO with your husband, LEAVE the baby with her grandparents. My husband and I went on a 5-day Jamaican vacation when my son was 18 months old (we waited until I had finished breastfeeding him). We left him with my parents. I thought that I would be sad and miss him the whole time! Well … I did miss him, but I was not sad! I had so much fun, it was great to reconnect one on one with my husband and remember what things were like just the two of us! Turns out we went at just the right time, because two days before we left I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. It is a lot harder to get time alone with your hubby once you have more than one child! Always remember this: the MOST important gift that you can give your children is to have a solid and loving relationship with your husband. — Heather

  8. There are beaches in Texas you can take her to. Time to let some spark back in your marriage. Sans baby. And take the laptop with you and have a Skype session with grandparents and the baby this first vacation alone if it’ll help soothe you.

  9. We’re taking a Caribbean cruise in a couple weeks sans our 5 month old. We need the time along together to reconnect, and baby will be in perfectly capable hands with the grandparents. Don’t get me wrong; I’m going to miss her like crazy, but ultimately I believe it will be good for my relationship with my husband. It’s different for everyone.

  10. Hmmm. My sister turns 21 in June and my family (my husband, sister, mom & dad) are going to Vegas. I was worried what we’d do with the kids because they’d only stayed with my parents or my sister! We decided to make it into a “family-friendly” vacation and visit family in CA too. I’m very excited to take my kids! I have a 4 year old, so he’s going to enjoy/remember it more than my daughter (who will be 11 months) but I still wouldn’t want to leave either one behind.

    My situation might be a little different than going to the Caribbean though…I guess it depends on if you think you could enjoy yourself without her. And if your husband wants to go specifically to have time for the two of you. It’s a hard decision sometimes. It’s a feeling mothers just have deep inside…I can feel it right now just thinking about it 🙂

  11. I’m with Dorothy. I wouldn’t go that far without her, and I’d bring a sitter if we could.

    We did a weekend sans kid when our oldest was just over 2. That was relaxing, but yet I worried about her the whole time. I know my youngest (who is just over two now) is not ready yet. I’m hoping within the next year we can get a long weekend away, before we add a 3rd to the mix. 🙂

    I guess it depends on your comfort level. If you will be ok, then go for it. If you will be thinking of her, bring her with you!

  12. I would either go without her or just hold off until she’s weaned and then go without her. I did an overnight w/o my daughter when she was about 5 months old. All the pumping was a pain in the behind- and we were only gone for a day and not flying (so we didn’t have to deal with the TSA agents). Now that she’s 13 months, I’ve weaned her and can’t wait to go away for vacation, just me and my husband!

  13. Leaving breastfed babies is a lot of work, if you plan to keep nursing after the trip too. I stink at leaving my kids. I’ve done it, but after 48 hours or so, I’m so distracted by their absence, I don’t have as much fun. The best vacations I’ve ever taken are the ones when we’ve taken help along with us for the kids. That way, we get alone time, but we get family time too.

  14. I go with you. I can’t imagine leaving mine for however long, and then being in another country. Maybe when she is older… but not now. I would spend the whole time thinking about her and worrying about her and checking in ten times a day.

  15. we just left our 13 month old for 7 days for a cruise. it was much harder on us than it was on our son. he had a great time and had no idea we were even gone. as hard as it is to drop the baby off – i recommend going. you MUST connect or the family will fall apart.

    Good luck making the decision!!

  16. Im a new follower and am having the same issue as we get ready for a weekend away from our 16 month old. Thankfully we will only be about a hr and half away and grandma will be watching her.

  17. Husband! Remember that even though we are mothers, we are wives too and our husbands need that special alone time to reconnect without the children. Trust me, you will never regret going with your husband, will you worry, yes what mother wouldnt, but it will be worth it, trust me! when she is older take her to disney, that was our first family vacation and it was amazing

  18. The mommy in me says take her with you, but really, right now, at her age, I say go for it, take a little break for the two of you. Re-kindle everything and anything. Have some fun. And just be you two fora short short while. Ther is always skype 🙂

  19. Here’s what I say. After 15 years married, and many beach vacations with the kids, my husband and I finally went to Mexico in 2009 with no kids. We did miss the kids – but the our first thought was: Why didn’t we do this years ago??? We were so worried about leaving them (we don’t live near family) – and they did just fine! Go! Go! Go! You’ll be sooooo glad you did 🙂

  20. Listen to your Hubby. I left for 8 days when my daughter was 7 months old to go on a mission trip. I was still nursing and pump (and dumped) the whole time. just had a good stock pile for at home before I left. It was good for her and me…and she did not forget me when I returned!
    have a great trip

  21. I say take J and take Grandma or an auntie along to watch her so that you and the hubby can have some alone time for a little bit. Personally, I just feel like vacations are for families if you have one. I would never see myself leaving Moo behind. My mom would be more than thrilled to come along and baby sit. She’s always complaining about not having more time to spend with Moo by herself in different places and that would be the perfect opportunity for her. I would hook her up with own suite and everything too.

  22. my husband and i went on a cruise with our 6 month old baby in December. it was an amazing time! she did much better than i could have ever hoped for! our situation was different though too. He missed the birth and first 5.5 months of her life because he was deployed to Afghanistan. We used the trip as family bonding time and it was wonderful….now i might be more inclined to leave her but i am still breastfeeding and am not ready to wean her so it would depend on how old she was. what ever you decide you will have a great time

  23. I agree with comment 10- Heather. Solid relationship is most important. Baby won’t remember and will be fine 🙂 Remember- grandparents raised you and you’re ok 🙂

    I say wait until kids are old enough to remember before doing huge expensive vacations with them.

  24. I guess it depends if she is still nursing. If she is, too much of a hassle to go without her. Bring Gma and Gpa along for the trip. Otherwise, you should go alone. It would be a good time as a couple. I’d love time with my husband like that right now. Maybe not somewhere where I have to wear a bathing suit, though. 😉

  25. we went through the exact same thing! UGH, he will only be 8 months though and I am not comfortable leaving him for one week yet. SOOOO, we decided to take him 🙂 I totally get leaving him though, but i got a fussy monkey. SO, I got my Ergo and that boy is going with me on my back lol! I am actually excited for him, although I know he won’t remember it, the pics will be SWEET. Norwegian cruise line lets infants under 2 cruise for free 🙂

  26. i just read over some of your comments and thought i should add that we have grandparents coming too who are more than excited to watch her! so of course that helps a lot for us being able to go off on our own.

  27. i agree with your hubby. she is a baby and won’t get to fully appreciate the experience of the carribean this young. however, the precious time to focus on your marriage is a rare gift.

  28. I’m about to be a new mom so I haven’t experienced this myself, but I vote with your husband. The best times in my marriage have been when my husband and I took off and left the world behind for a few days to just be together. leave her with the grandparents. They’ll love it. They’ll do great. Every couple needs special alone time.

    I’ll quote a favorite blogger of mine: “Regularly escaping together for an evening or a weekend (with nobody else but you) is fundamental to a flourishing marriage. Don’t let anyone or anything bar the door–give your get-away-romance top priority on the spreadsheet and on the calendar. Everything and everyone at home will be brighter for it.”

    Check out her post about romantic getaways too if you’re interested. http://www.monasmusings.com/somewhere-else/

  29. we have just got back from a 10-day trip to Ghana (West Africa)from the UK. It was just me and my Husband. Our nearly 3 year old stayed with grandma. I told her about the trip for about a month beforehand and explained that she’d be staying with Grandma. We really did miss her. A lot. BUT we had more fun and were able to do the things we wanted to do that we wouldn’t have if she were with us. It was such a hard decision for me (husband was like yours!), But I am SO glad that we did it as we did. Little Miss O had an amazing time with her jam packed 10 days. She actually had a lot more fun here.

    Lil J is very young. So long as her immediate needs are met, she has lots of familiar things around her, she will be fine. She would love little trips with her grandparents. She wont remember — at all! You will on the other hand WILL remember and may just wish you had left her with the grandparents once you get there. Just go (so long as she’s happy to take milk from bottle etc) xxx You will have THE BEST TIME!

    GO go go and have the best time and don’t feel guilty. You will find it harder than she will. Trust me – kids are very adaptable..

    Have fun!!!

  30. Take the baby! We just went to Puerto Rico and it was so much fun hanging out as a little family. My son was 7 months when we went last month and he’d nap in the shade or we sit in the water with him. I’m still nursing and he’s still so young that there’s no way I’d leave him for more than a day.

    It’s nice to get away from a hectic schedule to be with the ones you love.

  31. I traveled without my 5mo. old baby for a week and cried everyday! I kept seeing other people with their babies on the beach and pool side and would say each time I wish I would have brought my baby. Grandparents would be nice to have near by.

  32. IMO us parents need a break from the kids once in a great while. My wife and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary this summer with a return trip to the Caribbean sans kids. Mom and dad need some quite time alone. No place on earth better!

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