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The paper chains are gone. My countdowns hit zero, and there’s no crying baby or poopy diapers in our house. They’re coming, so I really can’t be upset about it. But I still am a little, and I’m mad at myself for being so selfish.

Someone suggested I write a letter to my baby every day after my due date until she comes because they’ll be fun for her to look back and read. Normally I write a letter to her every week as I progress in my pregnancy but I decided to give myself an extra day before writing my 40 week letter to save myself from saying something I didn’t really mean.

Yesterday was not a good day. I did wake up feeling great. I had lots of energy and I was going to work despite my OB’s request that I stop. My blood pressure was higher at my last appointment and my cankles were still huge. She asked when I was planning to stop working, and when I told her after Lil’ J was born she said no way.

I figured working could help me keep my mind off things and maybe even help the process along. It was a bad idea.

If you were following me on Twitter yesterday you may have been confused by my mood swings.
The beginning part of the day was ok because there was the possibility of labor striking at any minute. This WAS my due date after all. I got surprised comments about working on my due date from people I interviewed–oh what a trooper I was. As the afternoon went on and I had only noticed a handful of contractions I began to realize I’d have to actually finish work that day. It was something deep down, I didn’t see happening–Or I hoped it wouldn’t.

The day was long and drawn out after some bad directions and believe it or not a tire blow out. It didn’t scare me into labor. Though I wish it had.

We were stranded far away, and I still had one more interview to do. I thought for sure they’d scratch the story. But lucky me, someone else was able to come pick me up, and help me get the last interview, so I could stay late and complete the story two hours after the five o’clock show. Oh the joys of 24 hour news.

It was during these final few hours that I began to loose it. The burning anger from the realization my baby wasn’t coming was worse than any of the contractions I was feeling. I wanted to scream at every person who poked their head in wondering if I had “popped yet” and I realized the reasons for my doctor’s suggestion not to work anymore went further than my cankles. I think she was thinking about my mental health too.
The straw the broke my back was when the company handling my maternity leave called to confirm that I was no longer working and starting maternity leave. Starting leave now means the 12 weeks clock starts ticking, so if she finally decides to come two weeks from now, that’s two less weeks we’ll get together… Her fault.

It’s my fault really, all of my anger and tears at least. I felt like I’m so ahead of the game but I made the #1 mistake in pregnancy–I invested too much in my due date. Two of my best friends had their first babies early last year so I thought I’d be early too.

I got everything done. EVERYTHING. Nursery set up, bags packed, my nails done, hair done, house cleaning, dog grooming and vaccinations. Now my hair could use another press, my nails are chipped, and I can’t keep up with the clutter collecting around my house.

My husband had to pre-request his vacation time for the baby, so he took off starting the 23rd and he goes back the 8th. Unfortunately there wasn’t any other way to arrange his time off. So at my last OB appointment when the nurse asked me my opinions on inductions I hesitated a little when I told her I wanted to wait as long as I could so it could happen naturally.

I know my doctor’s office doesn’t induce you earlier than 41 weeks unless it’s medically necessary, so unless we find something wrong with my fluid levels, or my placenta, we’re going another week. When my OB came in and checked me, and saw I was about the same as the week before, I wondered what options we had for inducing–In case she didn’t arrive by 41 weeks.

July 3rd is the soonest. I’ll be 41 weeks + 2 days. But the date wasn’t appealing to me because I’d hate for her to have to share a holiday on her birthday. Then she rattled off other dates… The 6th, 8th and 9th. My husband wasn’t with me so she asked us to talk it over, and said we could talk about it at our next appointment.

Originally I was thinking the 9th, it would give Lil’ J as much time as she needed and I’d be 42 FREAKING weeks. Now, to that I say HAIL NAH, and the 3rd is looking more appealing. At least then my husband would get SOME time with the two of us before going back to work, and I wouldn’t have to use a good portion of my maternity leave sitting around, waiting for her, then have to go back to work earlier, meaning less time for getting to know each other. Less time to get use to breastfeeding, less time for everything!

I don’t know why it feels like “due date or induction” all of a sudden, but it does. I feel like she’s not going to come out unless she has help. I didn’t, none of my siblings did. Maybe it’s just in my genes. I know inductions SUCK for some people (they worked fine for my mom), and I don’t want one for the sake of a “natural birth.” But fun thoughts about labor and delivery began to diminish this week. I didn’t get pregnant to be pregnant, or so I could have a cool birth story. I got pregnant because I want a child, and because I want to be a mother.

I’m not getting some elective induction at 38 weeks so I can fly to Bermuda next week. I know when I conceived, and I know she’s had a lot of time to cook. I’m not “off” on my dates, and 41 weeks + 2 days is more than enough time for her to get her act together. I’m handing her her eviction notice and she has until the 3rd to pack her little booty up and come out.

I may still do some walking and raspberry leaf tea drinking to help her along but really, if she’s just going to come when she wants then I’m not going to waste too much energy. Her new birth date to me is July 3rd.
I have calmed down a lot. I blame all of my crying on the hormones. But I’m not going to whine or get upset, or cry anymore. Pretty soon I’m going to miss the kicks in my belly, waking up next to my husband when the sun comes up. Doing whatever we want during the day, as has jokingly puts it “enjoying our lives before they’re over.” Our lives as we now know it at least.

So, I’m resetting the clock. There’s one more week of freedom, one more week of quiet. One more week of honeymooning, spoiling our fur baby, and sleeping in.

Lil’ J can enjoy her time all scrunched and cramped in my uterus, but in a week, she’s coming out.


Carrie says:

Having a kid right around a holiday isnt all bad…oh what am I saying, it’ll suck ;P My oldest was born June 30. The day BEFORE Canada Day, a national holiday round these parts. Which means when she is older many of her little friends will be off on vacations over the long weekend. Bah.

So I hope she decides to come visit sooner. Like today or something πŸ˜‰ I think I picked today for the pool

Dianne says:

I have had 100% success with a “special shake” but all of my clients were at least 2cm and 50% effaced. Here’s the recipe if you’re interested: 2 cups ice cream, 2 oz of castor oil and 1 egg. Blend well and thin with milk. The egg binds the castor oil with the fat in the ice cream so that it sits in your intestines and doesn’t go straight thru you (which causes the horror stories you’ve heard!) It works together with your body’s chemicals and usually gets things going within 3-4 hours. If nothing happens by that time, you can do a 2nd shake. I hear it doesn’t taste too bad either :0) Will be thinking of you!

Heather says:

Oh, I hope she comes soon!!!!
Stopping by from SITS πŸ™‚

Chantel says:

Don’t feel bad for getting frustrated. It’s totally normal and no one should hold it against you. I’d keep doing the walking and the tea. If you have an exercise ball that could help a little too. Sitting on it helps open your pelvis so her head can come down a little. I got one at Wal-Mart for $4. Added bonus with the exercise ball, some babies like the bouncing when parents sit on it. It was sometimes the only thing that calmed my daughter’s colic cries. Calm for her, mini workout for me! Good luck!

I had a baby born July 2 and one born July 9 – no big deal as to the holiday. The bonus is that they think the fireworks and celebrations are for THEM! The due date come and gone issue is hard. Hang in there.

Emily says:

I went into labor at 41 + 2 – the morning of my original
scheduled induction! So maybe the same will happen for you πŸ™‚ Time to come out lil J!!!

Emily @ Baby Dickey

Hang in there! Now that you’re done working (you ARE done, right?) you will have more time to regroup and get centered.

p.s. I am planning on working up til my due date too -Dec 3rd but I’m with you! If people start asking me when I’m going to pop I just may give in sooner….or bite someones head off.

Maya says:

You’re making the right decision for you and that’s awesome! Spawnie has cooked a long time. I hope she’ll come before then, just so your DH gets some more time with her before going back to work and her bday isn’t right up against a holiday. I’m probably having a winter break baby myself, so I get the reluctance about having a baby right near a holiday.

~ MarfMom

Rebecca M. says:

I’m glad you wrote this! Hopefully it will make an impression on other mamas-to-be. I agree with you, investing too much in the “due date” is a big mistake for any pregnant woman, not just a first-time mom. Even though my son was born at 39w4d, I won’t be “expecting” my next baby to come early.

I can’t 100% agree with your reasoning, because I think some babies DO need 42 weeks – or possibly longer – and I don’t think you can KNOW that she’ll be “done” at 41w2d. I’m NOT criticizing your choice – I understand wanting to have as much time as possible for maternity leave, and wanting your husband to have time with you and the baby after the birth – and hopefully you’ll only need a “whiff of Pit” to induce your labor. Most of all, I hope you’re able to get back to a positive place with your thoughts on labor and delivery. No matter what, your baby will be in your arms VERY soon!

As an aside, my son was born on Valentine’s Day (after 2 days of labor – we thought he was going to be a Friday the 13th baby). I have mixed feelings about him having a “holiday” birthday. On the one hand, the day has a lot more significance for me than it ever did. On the other hand, I know my son’s birthday will always be competing with hearts and chocolates and red roses. I plan to tell him, any woman who thinks V-Day is more important than his birthday, isn’t worth it! πŸ™‚

Zandi says:

Good for you!! I’m impressed that in your ( obviously naturally at this stage) hormonal state you came to this impressive “solution” . Why be miserable these last few days? Find the joy in everything and I’m sure she will surprise you before the 3rd. I liked what you had said about someone suggesting using 2 weeks past your EDD as your personal EDD and I will use that plan next time I am PG.
My son was born July 5th 2 years ago and I think its way cool his birthday is so close to the 4th ( I spent the 4th that year in labor – his own kind of independence !) . Embrace whatever day she arrives on it will trump EVERYTHING else.
Lots of love and Labor Dust ( and try that shake!)

Emily says:

Sorry you had such a frustrating day yesterday. I am sending you my contractions. The lines must have gotten crossed somewhere and these contractions got sent to me inadvertantly (at 27 weeks 5 days). We got them to stop, so now I send them to you. I hope you get a lot of use out of them. πŸ˜‰ I sure don’t need them yet.

~Em~

Mommy Bee says:

I’ve heard that the *average* date when a first time mom goes into labor (on her own) is 41w 1d. I know plenty of mamas who have not delivered until 42wks or even 43. I will say that I think in many cases those ‘late’ babies are more about inaccurate dating than anything, but I’m sure it’s true that some babies need to cook a little longer than others.
My second baby stayed in a full week longer than my first one did. I went past my due date and boy was I going nuts, so I totally feel for you there. My recommendation–do lots and lots of hip circles (think like the hula, or belly dancing, but slow). You can do it sitting on a birth ball too–circles for 5 min, then go do something else for 20 min, then do circles for 5 min again. I had had tons of contractions (including 1min long 5 min apart for over an hour FOUR TIMES) over the course of two weeks, and with just three days of the hip circles and he was born. I really think it makes a huge difference in getting the kiddo to come down and engage. I did hip circles in labor too and they felt SO good! I think being upright and doing the circles also helped labor be faster–5 hours as compared to my first one which was 23hours!

Annie says:

You are a very intelligent woman and as I have followed your tweets and blogs I have known how much thought you have given your birth. Before my failed VBAC I would have stood firm and told you “No pitocin! it will happen on its own!” But I have the same “stubborn” genes you do. My mom was in labor for super duper long time (over 24 hours w/no changes) and had to be given meds to speed her up for her health.

I hoped I would be different. But I wasn’t. 36 hrs after my water broke I was only a 3cm. That was 100% natural, no meds. Being a VBAC I could not have pit safely. I think some people do need pit but only as a last resort. I was a perfect candidate for pit but it wasn’t safe.

My gut is saying if you have not had any contractions at ALL by 42 weeks then yes, pit. But I was on pit w/my daughter Lizzie and it is AWFUL. You will need an epidural with it. Just lettin’ ya know πŸ™‚

Go with your gut, God gave moms an intuition!

PVDela says:

I TOTALLY understand!! My DD was one week past her due date and her big bro. had been 10 days early so I felt really confident that she would be too. I spent 5 days after her due date just getting more and more tense and then I finally spent most of one day crying out all of my stress and frustration and felt great about it after that and was finally able to be okay with her coming in her own time, I had her naturally with a midwife in a midwifery center at a local hospital, two days later I was in full labor for only just over two hours and only 8 minutes of pushing. I know that my stress level wasn’t helping her to come and that letting go helped my body relax enough for everything to be able to happen so well when the time came.
I know it’s hard and you’re anxious to get her here but she has to come out sooner rather then later so you might as well do your best to just relax and let her chose the best time for her to make her appearance, my sister never could though, no one will think badly of you if you can’t take it and just get induced either.

I know this may seem hard but think of it this way, at least your baby was not early that she had problems. Our son was born on the 8th of july and was 4 weeks early after spending 18 hard days with him in teh Nicu he came home to us, being pregnant this time around has made me think that I want to go full term, that my c-section will be at 39 weeks and that to be is wonderful. You will so enjoy your time with baby J, but know that she will come when she is ready and needs to be here. We all know Heathly Father wouldn;t have it any other way!

Jessica says:

I was originally due on May 1 of this year, then they thought she was measuring big on the ultrasound, so they changed my due date to April 25. Well, April 25 came and went. Then May 1 came and went….and the 2,3,4,5,…you get my point. I tried most of the home remedies you can imagine except for castor oil. I was scared of drinking that stuff.

On May 8, I was at my wit’s end and went to get a massage from a lady who knew all of the natural pressure points to put you into labor. It was not a comfortable massage. It hurt as she tried to work the spots out. She also suggested that I put the castor oil on my stomach with warm compresses over it.

I didn’t go into labor right after the massage, so I went home and put the oil on my belly. I couldn’t get the compresses to stay warm, and had no one there to help me heat them, so I just put the oil on. It was getting on everything, so I just put saran wrap all over my belly and put a shirt back on. I felt crazy, but whatever.

I went to bed that night and woke up at 3:45 in labor with some serious contractions. Finally after 31 hours in labor, I had my daughter on May 10th.

I don’t know if any of that will help, but it’s food for thought. Sometimes getting a lot of suggestions is annoying too. I was at work past my due date and I was so tired of people asking if I’d had her yet. I thought about telling people that I had, but left her in the car for the day since newborns sleep so much. Sheesh!

Keeping my fingers for you that it will happen naturally. At least you know in advance she’s exercising her right as a true girl. She does things in her own time. LOL.

Tori says:

Another “natural old wives tale” remedy for labor I’ve heard is eating pineapple. I’m allergic to the stuff, so it wasn’t for me, but maybe it will be for you! And being that pregnant this time of summer, it’ll be a nice cool treat for you too πŸ™‚ Sending tons of labor vibes for you to have a Junebug! Come on Junebug J! πŸ™‚

Haley says:

Just wanted to say I love your blog and this post really hits home! When I went to my 39 week appointment wiht my son (May 2009) I was asked about induction. I told them if he wasnt here by 41 weeks that I was going to want an induction. I served him his eviction notice and ya know what? 4 days before his time was up he decided to come on out after 27 hours of labor!! You want my secret? Sex. I know you have probably heard that a million times before and you might not want to do it just because you are huge and tired (God knows I was lol) but it got my labor rolling so im sure it can get yours rolling too! Good luck and ill be sending labor vibes your way!

If you want you can come check my blog out at
http://a-rank-of-her-own.blogspot.com

-Haley

Kristin says:

Just wanted to throw my two cents in about the birthday close to a holiday. I was my parents Christmas present when I was born on Christmas eve! I didn’t like having a birthday so close to a holiday when I was young because my friends couldn’t come, so some years we celebrated as a family on my birthday, and had a big friend party on my half birthday in June. Now that I am older, I like just the simple birthday dinner parties with my family and close friends. I hope that she comes soon, and in the meantime that you can enjoy spending some time off with your hubby, you deserve it! Have a great weekend!

becca says:

maybe with both of y’all off you’ll get a little babymoon time. πŸ™‚ i’m sorry you’re frustrated, i can only imagine what being pregnant is like in this heat. i’m not a patient person, so this whole part of the process makes me nervous. come on lil j! everyone wants to meet you!

Hey Jen!!!! I went to Highland with you, actually I think we were in the same physics class at one point! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog, and read it daily πŸ™‚ One question I have is… Did your doctor strip your membranes yet? It’s not an induction persay, but just a natural induction- it releases the bodies natural “go into labor” stuff. I had mine stripped at my 2nd to last appt with my son 2 years ago. I ended up going into labor within 24 hours, and had a wonderul birth. Maybe you should ask your dr. about this esp since you are at your due date?! Michael ended up being born one day before his original due date. Stripping the membranes doesn’t hurt, feels more like when you pop bubble wrap… Goodluck girlie- Sara

Devri says:

ok girl.. first pit is managable. I had 3 pits with my kids and still did it naturally. But I have told you all along, no one gets a prize in the end for natural, so do what YOU think is right for you and your baby. But I do have to say.. Babies do know when it is their time to come out. They will not stay in there forever. You might not progress, but it will at least start, (which it hasn’t). When it happens, if you need help let them help. I do know with my 7 kids, 3 that were started with pit.. They were not ready to come out. The baby knows it time.. And remember.. She is a girl! lol

Maria says:

Some women gestate longer, that’s just how it is. 40 weeks is an average for humans. Your family’s babies may not be “cooked” until 43 weeks, you never know! But it sounds like you’re happy with your choice. πŸ™‚

Tree says:

Totally normal to be frustrated. And not to scare you, but my first one was 3 weeks late…and NO, they did not induce me. LOL They didn’t do those things back then if they weren’t in distress. She will make her presence when she is good and ready…get used to it! tee hee Hopefully SOON!!

Christina says:

do you read all these comments? just asking…anyways im sorry your frustrated, i know its hard being pregnant for what seems like forever! πŸ™‚ but heres some ‘good’ ? news for you, with my last one, the day i was scheduled to be induced, i was sposed to be at the hospitol at 9am, guess what? at 4am i started having the MOST painful contractions…there was no way to get to the hospital so i labored at home until about 9am …i opted for an epidural but more power to you if you want a natural birth! as for me, i had been in pain for 5 hours and darnit i wanted whatever drugs they could give me!!! πŸ™‚ either way you will have a great, beautiful birth cause its YOUR BABYS birthday! and it wont even matter how or when she got here when they place her in your arms!!! good luck keeping calm hun…walking helps…i know its annoying but i swear it does!!!

Mammatalk says:

I know it’s tough! Hang in there. Can’t wait to hear your birth story! It’s about to happen. It’ll be a story you retell for the rest of your life. So exciting!

CurlyKye says:

As a woman in the phase of my life in seriously contemplating becoming a mom soon, I have definitely learned a lot from your experience from beginning to end. Sending the best of luck your way!!!

Michelle says:

Sending labor vibes your way!

Cynthia says:

You poor thing! Get your spouse to ‘help’ (wink) it worked for me with my last baby. Can’t WAIT to see a gazillion pictures of Spawnie!

佳燕 says:

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Aww, huggles to you with your frustrations about Baby J. I had a dream that I was weeks behind on the birth annoucement so I rushed here this morning to check on things. Enjoy the last week of freedom.

COUNTRY MOM says:

Jen, Hope you go into labor soon. With my first baby I carried her 42 weeks. I thought like you she would never come out. Praying you have a great delivery, Can’t wait to see pics and hear all about your birth. Blessings,

Riddlez says:

With my VBAC (and only spontaneous labor), I did the red raspberry tea and I did acupressure massage. The day after my massage, I went into labor. I was at 39 weeks 3 days. I had my masseuse come over and she helped me to stay consistent and labor at home for 8 hours before I went into the hospital. It was great and I think it helped me feel like a contributor – cause when I got the hospital, they put me on pitocin to get those contractions going even stronger. Even with all of that help, I ended up with a 30 hour long labor.

All of us hinge our hopes and expectations on that day on the calendar. How can you not? You’re meeting this little person YOU created on that day if all goes like it should. But, like so many other things in life, they don’t always work out as scripted. It’s sheer torture though and no fun even when you already know all of that and logically should be ok with it. It’s really not ok, though! Tears are totally reasonable!

Like you said, you are having a baby so you can have a child. The birth is no small part of your story, but the end result (healthy baby, healthy mama) is far more important than anything else.

Hopefully, you’ll go on your own and SOON! Good luck. (Trust your gut and hold your ground when it happens!!!)

Megan says:

My husband was born on 7/3 and he LOVES it! As a kid he always had no school the day after his birthday – this was especially fun for us in college and even now, no work the day after his birthday so we can stay out late if we want. Oh, who am I kidding? We have a 5.5 month old. We don’t stay out late anymore. But we used to, and it was fun!

rainbowlens says:

My brother’s birthday is July 4th and it has never sucked for him. The family always did a dual Independence/Birthday celebration party/cookout/whathaveyou and it was always fun. Either way, you’re almost there! So excited. Don’t punch me, lol

Gem

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget



I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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