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It hurts worse than I thought… A lot worse actually. And I don’t know why it’s taken me by surprise. I’m not sure what I was expecting, what I am expecting. I just know it doesn’t feel good at all.

It’s hard to imagine what it’s like standing on the other side of the fence if you’ve never been there. I underestimated this side. I thought I’d be happy to be making progress, but I’m apparently a lot less patient than I thought I was. My over-prepared, over-zealous self has been slapped in the face with a brutal reality check. … Yea, this thing called life, it’s not always fair, and I won’t always get it.

It was so easy for my friends. So easy for my mom. I know I’m not one for good luck, but I couldn’t imagine why couldn’t this be “easy” for me too. But that’s not the case, at least not for now, and I’m beginning to feel ok with that, but still fear the unknown of how long this wait may be.

I feel pathetic knowing so many people have experienced so much worse than me, for such a long time, and here I am disappointed after a matter of weeks. Who am I to complain? I guess anyone couldn’t help but feel a little let down, no matter what the time table.

After testing twice only to see a single line I expected the aunt I forbade to return. Then my temperatures dropped and I knew it would be another month of excitement, waiting, and most likely disappointment.

During my emotional roller coaster a few thoughts came to mind, one: “Sometimes you’ve gotta experience sadness to truly know joy.” Maybe I’d never understand the true joy of success if it wasn’t for failure… At least once. I imagine it will only make accomplishment feel that much better.

I tried to relax. I’ve been doing yoga, I’ve been meditating, praying, and listening to Circle+Bloom. I was trying to find a way to cope with disappointment month after month if need be–Something I could look forward to every month of my stupid aunt kept coming back. …And even though I was in, what felt like, a state of pure confusion, all of a sudden a clear thought came to mind: “Serve others.”

I know I’ve heard this concept over and over at church… And it’s a rule that’s always sure to blow my blues away.

First I thought I could donate extra hair bows I have to a children’s hospital. It’s a small token, but something that would put the smile on faces of little children, and hopefully brighten their day. That was a plan. But then my plan grew… I thought “what if I make hair bows and raffle them off on my blog and do a fundraiser?”

I remembered the many generous fundraisers my friend Danielle has done on her blog, and my idea blossomed more and more, and the support I’ve gotten just a couple of days has blown me away!

Not long after starting this blog I was re-introduced to the remarkable charity, March of Dimes, fighting for the births of healthy babies. Their message to women after, during, and even BEFORE pregnancy about prenatal care is priceless, and they do so much for mothers and their babies, both before and after they’re born. I can’t think of anything that could lift my spirits more than contributing to a charity like this, and getting support from fellow bloggers like you.

Depending on how this one goes, my goal is to try to raise money for a charity every-other month I have an unsuccessful cycle. So I’ll start the first fundraiser today, and run it for a full month, donate 100% of the funds raised to March of Dimes in October, and November we’ll see what happens πŸ™‚ I figure it’s a win win if I can keep this going.

So what’s in it for you… Amazing prizes from OUTSTANDING sponsors, who are generous enough to donate a product to this cause. I will be featuring each of them through the month so you have a chance to get to know more about them, and what they do.

You can enter the drawing by donating to the March of Dimes fundraiser.

$1= 1 ticket
$5= 5 tickets
$10= 10 tickets
$15= 15 tickets
$20= 20 tickets
(Paypal donations are not associated with the drawing, just with the donations. Questions? Email me at babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com)

Again… 100% of what’s collected will be given to March of Dimes! It’s for a good cause and it can be a tax write off πŸ˜‰

I really hope you’ll participate and tell your friends! If you don’t need these prizes, remember, Christmas is around the corner, and all of these make for great gifts! Either way, you’re donating to charity!

You can donate by clicking the “Chip in” button to the right or by clicking here.
Paypal is not associated with the drawing, just with the donations. Paypal does not participate in raffles. That is a seperate thing. Questions about donating for the drawing? Email me at babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com.

I’m excited to see the power of my bloggyworld, and see what we can do! If you can’t chip in, I understand, but please help me spread the word!

There are more than $1000 worth of prizes to win, and with $20 you are entered to win all of them anf with $15 you get a GUARENTEED PRIZE from me!
To see the current list of sponsors (it keeps growing!!) click here

BM(M) March of Dimes Fundraiser

Again, Paypal is NOT associated with the raffle, just with the donations. Questions about the raffle? Email me at babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com


Stephanie says:

I’m so glad you are taking what could have been a sad time for you and turned it into something positive. I know you will find your way and when you least expect it, you will have your two little tines.

Stay positive and uplifted. The wait is well worth it.

Ciao bella!

XO,

Stephanie

GreedyGirl says:

Hi http://www.greedygirlsguide.com checking in from SITS

We’ve all been there hen something you want is so hard to achieve but so easy for others. But keep your chin up it will get better

And MOD is a great cause to get behind, i’ve donated and raised for them for over a decade

Ashylee says:

Hey! I know exactly how you feel. You would think after every month passes, you would experience the disappointment less than you did the month before and you don’t. You think your mind would remember that the month before you had your “symptoms” and you weren’t… and you don’t. I just keep the faith and remember there is always next month… I am TTCing but find it very hard to chart so i don’t. I’m hear with you!

Lauren says:

Hi there! I just discovered your blog yesterday and thought I would follow to see how things go for you! πŸ™‚ I can understand your feelings of disappointment (even after just a few weeks of trying). I remember being really frustrated at the beginning of our TTC journey. It’s been over 4 years now … 2 miscarriages… lot’s of hurt. I have the same thought a lot: I will be able to experience the joy of having a baby in my arms in a MUCH bigger way than my friends who got pregnant the first month they tried. There’s something more special about it when you’ve had to hope for so long. Deeper pain and sadness make your heart prepared for deeper joy. It’s so wonderful to see that you’re putting the feelings of frustration into helping out such an awesome cause! πŸ™‚

Hugs and Prayers,
Lauren

Mallory says:

One thing that you can be grateful for about your body through all of this is that you can still chart and see what is going on in there. I keep having anovulatory cycles. But you have such a wonderful idea to turn your failure into a success! Way to go!

I know exactly how you’re feeling! We’re on month 6 of trying and nothing has happened, and I’ve had 2 of my sister in laws get pregnant in the time we’ve been trying. So not only am I putting pressure on myself, but they’re putting pressure on me, too. I guess what I keep trying to tell myself is that in reality, someone bigger is in charge of my timeline, not me….it’s all in the master plan, so I’m just trying to be patient! Hugs to you!

Heather says:

Great idea! It will help take your mind off things a bit too, and it’s toward such a great cause.

I am a big fan of the March of Dimes. I did the walk last year and am 100% committed to that charity.

Good luck with everything, try to relax, and enjoy the ride.

MommyJ says:

You are awesome, and this is a fantastic idea. πŸ™‚

MommyJ says:

OH! And I forgot to say, I was a march of dimes baby. I was born a month early, and my parents had just started their own business and could not handle the expenses of all my NICU care. March of dimes helped cover my medical expenses.

Emmy says:

Sorry it didn’t work the first time. But hey, no you just have to keep trying.. I am sure your husband will not complain πŸ˜‰
Good for you and what a great cause!!

LeNesha says:

What an awesome journey Jennifer! I chipped in :-). March of Dimes has a great mission and I’m so glad you’re sharing this cause.

Wishing you the best,

Frenchell says:

what a great way to combat your feelings by loosing yourself in service. It’s okay to have those kind of days and those kind of feelings, it is 100% okay. You are not pathetic for feeling like that…you are just human, and we have feelings and react when we get disappointed, it is life.

Sorry this time around didn’t work. But hey, you’re taking your energies and focusing on a wonderful positive cause. Besides, I’m sure DH won’t mind practising some more πŸ˜‰ Keep at it Mamma!

I could learn a lot from you. I understand your disappointment. Trust me, I’m there- a lot. But keep doing what you’re doing. And just have a plan for what you can do if it’s not this month- which is exactly what you’re doing now. Good luck girlie!

milftobe says:

Omg, what a fantastic idea, I love it!!! Good for you, I hope it turns out really well… I have a feeling you’ll pass the $300 mark. I do plan on donating!

Emily @ Baby Dickey

If I was any inspiration to you doing this — well…wow! I don’t know what to say. But you are so SO sweet to do this πŸ™‚

Can’t wait to see the success of this raffle!

Hez says:

It is hard taking that test and failing it. I’ve been there many times, but I also had 5 miscarriages so even a positive result was not so “positive” for me. But now I have an adorable little girl so she was very worth the wait. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason!

I totally know how disappointing it is!! And I agree that no matter how long you’ve been trying it’s still disappointing. It took me almost two years with my first and during that time so many of my friends got pregnant and had babies before I even got pregnant. That is so discouraging. Now I’m trying for baby number 3 and it’s been 15 months. I”m so grateful for the two that I have but would love to have another one. I get so disappointed each month when AF comes to visit. During the past 15 months 10 of my friends and family have either gotten pregnant and had their babies or are pregnant now. anyway, don’t lose heart. You are most likely to get pregnant within the first year of trying. And focusing on doing for other is a wonderful thing you are doing. We can all learn from that.

What an amazing event. I’m sure it will go well.
Stopping in from the SITS πŸ™‚ come by to say Hi

Rbarakat says:

this is awesome-what you are doing. hang in there and stay positive!

Toni says:

*hug*

I know how it feels to put so much work and effort in to being prepared and then to not have the results expected.

You’re doing a great job getting ready for your baby, and the thought of experiencing sadness to know joy, wow, blew me away. πŸ™‚

Also, this month or even the next is not “unsuccessful” for through your struggle, or simply just your waiting time, you are helping houndreds if not more. God is using you to touch others and in His time, He will touch you with a baby.

Thank you for hearing God and doing His will…serving others. πŸ™‚

Mammatalk says:

You are so inspiring. It’ll happen. But, if you need some luck, have you tried a fertility bracelet? It’s made of semi precious stones that are supposed to aid in fertility. That and maybe a lucky rabbit foot and a fancy nightie and you just may be on your way!
(Ok, skip the rabbit foot!)

Hey! This is an awesome fundraiser. I posted about it on my blog and added your link to my side frame. I also tweeted it. =)

Anne says:

I’ve always been impressed with your positive attitude, so it really doesn’t come as any surprise that you’re turning a negative into a positive. πŸ™‚ This is such an amazing cause and I wish you all the luck in the world in raising money and in getting pregnant!

blueviolet says:

I hope your journey is not too long! You’re doing a beautiful thing with this cause.

I’m stopping by to follow from MBC Followers club.

i came over from super fab ashylee’s blog…who i adore. anyway, you are awesome! man, i am glad to have met you. i had secondary infertility…and 2 adoptions and 14 years later i was given a little gift from god in my sofia…who was a preemie, 3 lbs…and i love the march of dimes. love supporting them…and you can count me in…love to support them! and good for you, girl! good for you for supporting them too!!! i’m adding your button on my sidebar too…let’s get some money raised!

Jill says:

I love your blog! I just heard about it today and I’m so glad to read your story. My heart goes out to you and your husband! I am LDS and lived in Central Texas all of my teenage years- I LOVE it there. I was in the Austin Texas Stake, but went to school in Rogers (near Temple). Anyway, you are certainly in my prayers and I wish you the best! I’ll be sure to get the word out about your incredible service in my blog learninglivinggiving.blogspot.com (feel free to check it out and follow), I know many people struggle with your same trial. I am so impressed and grateful for your strength and positive attitude. I wish you and your husband the best!

tanya904 says:

Thanks so much for giving your support to such a wonderful cause I made my contribution Thanks agian
tanyainjville@yahoo.com

Jacky says:

Hey, I just want to say that you’re pretty amazing. I can’t really contribute to all this great stuff with money, but I’m so glad that fellow bloggers take initiative and help raise money for such great causes! =)

Happy Saturday Sharefest…wanted to stop by and say hi. =) And hopefully my comment was good on the etiquette side of things. =)

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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget



I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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