Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Sponsored by Connections Academy. All opinions are my own.

When you tell someone you’re homeschooling or virtual schooling (where the student attends school from home and instruction and curriculum are delivered via an online platform) there’s a good chance you’ll get hit up with a barrage of follow-up questions. These can vary depending on who you are, how long your students have been attending school from home, and, of course, who’s asking.

I’ve been homeschooling just under a year and while the trend is growing in popularity, there’s still a lot of curiosity around it, and why anyone would decide to go this route. Sometimes these questions include a few that make me want to roll my eyes. So, let’s get it all out today. Here are 10 annoying questions those who virtual or homeschool their kids hear and answers that should help clarify why parents choose to have their child educated at home.

1. Are you worried they won’t have a “normal” childhood?

I’m not sure if people ask this because they think I’m depriving my kids of something better. What is really normal these days? Education is changing, and around the world, students learn differently. I don’t think a normal childhood has to be defined by kids sitting in a traditional classroom for hours every day.

2. Is this a religious thing? Why did you decide to homeschool?

This typically comes from people who think I’m doing this in an attempt to shelter my kids. No, I’m not an ultra-conservative religious person who is homeschooling for religious reasons. I’m actually pretty moderate to left-leaning. There’s no one mold for all students who learn at home. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s really flexible, and that’s one reason I love it.

3. Are you going to homeschool forever?

Man, that’s a lot of pressure! I’m not even sure what we’re having for dinner tonight. I can’t commit to a forever plan for school. Let’s just take this one year and one kid at a time. What I do know is that families have the opportunity to choose the education model that works best for their kids—for mine right now, it’s homeschool, for others it’s virtual school or the traditional brick-and-mortar school that is the best fit.

4. So they’re not socialized? Do they have any friends?

This is easily the most common question people ask me. A long time ago before the internet and Facebook groups, I can see how it would have been hard for children who learn via virtual or homeschool to connect with one another. But now that’s just not the case. My kids meet weekly for hiking trips, art classes, gymnastics, and to discuss poetry and Shakespeare.

And if kids are enrolled in an online school program like Connections Academy, there are a variety of extracurricular activities, field trips and even service projects through National Honor Society they can participate in—keeping students connected both online and in-person. Students also attend LiveLesson® sessions where the teacher leads students through lessons online in a virtual classroom. The children can discuss lesson content via chat pods and through microphones, keeping them socially active and engaged with other students and their teachers.

5. What does your daughter think?

I’ll ask her when I release her from her sentence of solitary confinement. I kid! The homeschooling decision isn’t 100% up to her right now but I do value her opinion. She loves it. She loves spending time with me and her brother, and all of the fun things we’ve been learning about. And learning on the road as we travel. Connections Academy supports learning outside school walls, too, and encourages students to soak up knowledge from all kinds of experiences like a local park, historical site or museum.

6. Do you ever get out of the house?

Nope, never. I mean really, this hardly warrants a response. Of course we get out of the house! It’s a big part of why we love learning from home – the flexible schedule means we have more time to go outside, explore and learn through real-world experiences without missing out on education.

Celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. Day with kids.

7. How will they play sports?

Just like any other child. I sign them up and they can play. My daughter just made a competitive cheer squad. When they reach high school we may look into participating in sports at the schools we’re zoned if we’re still homeschooling. Clubs sports are also an option to keep kids active and following their passion.

Tiny gymnast 6-years-old. It's crazy watching your child become a person. Tiny gymnast 6-years-old. It's crazy watching your child become a person.

8. Are you worried she’ll get behind?

No. I’m not worried about her being behind or ahead, I am concerned about pushing her to reach toward her full potential and moving at a pace that works for her, as well as about subjects that interest her. Not trying to keep pace with an entire class. And, with an option like Connections Academy online schools in particular, their curriculum meets state standards – there is even required state testing.

9. Are you qualified for that?

Dude, what are you trying to say? Just because I don’t have a teaching degree doesn’t mean I’m not qualified to teach my kids. In fact, I know my kids better than anyone, I can see how they learn best and adapt to that. I don’t know everything, but I have the tools I need to teach them not only what they learn in books, but life skills and morals.

When it gets to the point where I can’t keep up with math (my least-favorite subject growing up), I’ll be able to turn to other solutions for help. Connections Academy, for example, is an online tuition-free public school for students in grades K-12. Teachers instruct and interact one-on-one with students. All Connections Academy teachers are certified in their grade levels and subject areas and have at least a bachelor’s degree, and many have a master’s or other advanced degree. So, if we hit a point where we want the structure of a traditional school but want to keep the at-home learning environment, online school will be a great option for us.

10. You must be so patient!

Not exactly. Some days are harder than others but for us, the good far outweighs the bad. Sort of like parenthood.

Hopefully this list helps dispel some myths about virtual schooling and homeschooling. I look forward to completing our first year of this adventure this month. Then I’ll be sharing a list of things I learned (besides the random questions people ask).

Have questions about virtual schooling or homeschooling? Shoot! Do you homeschool? What are some of the questions you get asked?

What you need to know about homeschooling. 10 things you don't need to ask a homeschool parent. #kidseducation


I’m loving maneuvering our way through the homeschooling world and helping dispel some myths about learning at home, that’s why I’ve partnered with Connections Academy on this post.

Connections Academy’s goal aligns with “what parents want”: to ensure students become productive, successful and confident adults. The online school experience helps students develop pathways to success by building on their individual strengths and interests in an online setting that is both safe and connected to a larger community. 

I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going to stop and think about how I started this blog what feels like yesterday, before my daughter was even a dream. I’m not going to dwell on the fact that she’s growing up so freaking fast and though I’m searching, frantically for a pause button, she’s still maturing before my eyes.

Lil' J as a baby

Instead, I’m focusing on the many things I’m looking forward to the moment she steps on the bus, and her brother begins his preschool class. That’s twice a week. Twice a week I’ll have five whole hours to myself. During the day. OMG I CAN’T WAIT.

A prayer for my daughter as she starts Kindergarten.

Once my kids start school it’s on. Here are 15 things I’m excited to do:

1. Work. Lame, I know. But I’m so excited to have uninterrupted time to work on my blog, new projects, and other tasks I’ve had to put off.

2. Sleep: I’m not a morning person, so after the hassle of getting the kids off to school might just sleep until they get home. In fact, I may just spend the first two months of the school year catching up on sleep.

3. Lunch dates: I can catch up with the ladies at some place without a playground and actually finish a conversation.

4. Finish reading Harry Potter (and the other books on my shelves): I take it back, I’ll spend the first couple months of back-to-school doing nothing but plowing through the rest of this series. Though reading a long time makes me tired, so this could also help with #2.

5. Take advantage of my husband: If we’re not careful we may be starting over on this baby charade. The house will be empty. Just sayin’.

6. Go shopping alone: I had the opportunity to get a few groceries without the kids the other day. It was so amazing. I can’t wait to experience that again, and maybe even try it at a clothing store..

7. Go to the bathroom alone: Look ya’ll, I’m not asking for much, just to do a few things by myself. And since becoming a mom, I don’t believe I’ve ever done this. I can’t wait to see what it’s like.

8. Blast explicit music and bad TV: It’s not that I have bad taste. It’s just that anything other than PBS and Kid’s Bop has been off limits during the day. Not anymore!

9. Get pampered: Ok maybe now I’m asking for a lot. But mani/pedis and the occasional massage? I’ve earned it.

10. Play with my kids toys: Finally I can be the architect the amazing train track I’ve been dreaming of without my kids bossing me around.

11. Organize all of my photos: Make new photo books and probably cry looking at how much my kids have grown.

12. Go on road trips: How far can I get and back in 5 hours?

13. Have a whine-free lunch (while sipping on my fake wine): I’ll still have to make it, but I won’t have to hear them whining about wanting something else.

14. Not change diapers: Or deal with anyone else’s poop or pee but my own, in the bathroom alone.

15. Spend quality time with my kids: What? But they’re at school! Yea, but you know the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? That’s what’s up.

Now that I’ve got my schedule planned til next summer, I can’t wait to get started.

What are you looking forward to once your kids start school?

It never fails, once a month I’m rushing to the dollar store to stock up on pregnancy tests again because I’m sure my IUD has failed or fallen out and I’m pregnant.

You see,e I can never tell when I’m actually late because I have an IUD and sometimes the dates get a little wonky. Basically if my period isn’t a week early I’m assuming I’m knocked up again and life as I know it is over.

I don’t even really know how the IUD works. I mean, no one does. Don’t ask me why I had a device put in me that even medical experts claim “likely” works in a certain way, but there’s no single explanation.

pregnant on the IUD

Anyway, why do I think I’m pregnant on the IUD month after month? Here’s why:

1. I’m tired: It could be because I have two kids and five part-time jobs, and my son is refusing to take naps and my daughter won’t sleep in her own dang room. Or it could be because I’m pregnant.

2. My belly fat: Boy, wouldn’t that be a great excuse?

3. I have to pee: I have extremely good bladder control. So when I get the urge and I actually have to consider a public restroom, I know something’s up.

4. Phantom kicks: Ya’ll, I’m not joking about this. I FEEL baby kicks in my stomach. I should probably get that checked out.

5. TLC: I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant… It can happen ya’ll! It happens. And I’m convinced I’m going to wind up on that show because I’m eight months pregnant and didn’t know it. Even though I took a test last month, and the month before and it said I wasn’t.

pregnancy-on-the-IUD

6. Breakouts: It could be stress. Or it could be the pregnancy.

7. I cried: I almost never cry since becoming a mom. It’s weird. It’s like my emotions have turned rock solid. But I cried when I missed the kiddie train ride for my son at Zilker Park (we got on the next one). And I cried while reading a sad story about a child… On the anchor desk. Where are these tears coming from? The fetus!

8. Parking spaces: No one questions me when I park in spaces for expecting mothers. … Just kidding, I don’t do that.

9. Karma: I always said I didn’t understand “surprise” pregnancies. Like, how do 50% of pregnancies wind up unplanned yet birth control is 95% effective with proper use? Wouldn’t Karma just love to show me who’s boss and make me eat a statement like that?

10. Nesting: I actually WANT to clean my house. No wait, never mind I don’t.

If I actually did want to get pregnant, (which I’m not implying that I do at this moment in time, or ever again really), there would be a few things I’d do. I wouldn’t go all crazy like I did when we were trying for Lil’ J–Forbidding my husband to take hot baths and all. No.

I’ve lived and learned and if I wanted to get pregnant I would probably only change up three things:

1. I’d quit drinking caffeine. No reason in particular, but it’s a tradition I’ve had each time I’ve tried to get pregnant. With my daughter I kept it up the entire pregnancy. With my son I was back to my old ways within a few months. Take it as you will with how that turned out.

pregnant on the iud

2. I’d trade out the lube. For a more swimmer-friendly version. I did this the first two times and it seemed to help. I mean, I got pregnant. I have a box of *Astroglide TTC Trying to Conceive™ hiding with my dollar store pregnancy tests. If the expiration date is a few years out it could possibly come in handy someday.

3. I’d get my IUD removed cause, you know… Though we aren’t sure how it works, it seems to be working just fine for the time being. I think…

Do you ever have false alarms?

***

Astroglide TTC is a sperm-friendly lubricant that doesn’t impede sperm motility like traditional lubricants. Check it out here.

 

*Thanks to Astroglide TTC™ for sponsoring this story. The opinions and text are all my own.





Ladies, beware.

snack at the pool

I was going to make this a Wordless Wednesday photo share but I can’t look at this photo without thinking of the funny habit this guy does at the pool every single time we go.

It never fails. We’re at the pool, I’m grabbing him a snack, or getting his sister dried off, or hanging out nearby as he walks up to the nearest lady laying out… Usually in a bikini. He waits until he has her attention, flashes his adorably dimpled grin and says “HIIII!”

The nice lady will smile and say hi back, and he turns around like he’s going to walk away, then turns back around toward her and say hi again. Repeat 5Xs.

He also does this in the middle of groups of two or three women.

Luckily he’s cute, and only 2, or else he would probably come across as a total creep.

And check out those lashes!

More on our pool adventures on my Tampico is Color blog.

 

~Big T is currently 2 years and 3 months old~

If you’re a Disney fan and heavily involved in social media… Particularly Twitter, then you know that this #DisneySMMC is all about. I mean, it’s trending #1 in the USA. If you’re neither, or just one of the above, you may not have a clue. So let me take a moment to fill you in.

The Disney Social Media Moms Celebration is a once-a-year invite-only conference at one of the Disney Parks for people to come together, be inspired, and learn even more about Disney and their mission.

This of course is just based on what I’ve heard. I haven’t been invited. The last couple years I saw the hashtag abuzz and hadn’t a clue of how people were chosen. Does Disney know how huge of a fan I am? Does Disney even decide go stays and who goes?  I have no idea.

But since I had just gotten back from my family’s first visit to Disney World, (which ignited a vocal spark that had been somewhat dormant for some time)–and I had happened to be sharing what I had learned around the same timing as this conference, I thought maybe this year some of the powers that be would notice how freaking OBSESSED I am, and that I’d get an email.

Emails went out tonight. And my inbox is empty. Well, actually it’s full. But it’s empty of the so called “Pixie Dust.”

It’s cool though. I’m ok. And rumor has it there’s still a chance of more emails going out so I’m holding onto hope. And regardless I’m do or die Disney FOREVA! Tonight has been quite the emotional roller coaster though. Here are 10 things I may or may not have done.

1. Cried: Eye makeup EVERYWHERE.

2. Begged my husband: To let me book a Disney Cruise as a consolation, tonight!

3. Sincerely congratulated everyone: Without an ounce of jealousy (hey, I was just there!).

4. Found out that OTR stands for: “on the road” not “over the rainbow.” I can apply to attend their breakout conference later in the year.

5. Learned that going to the conference: Has nothing to do with exploring the secret underground tunnel system… And that I can just buy a tour on our next trip if I want.

7. Checked my email: 200 times… Just in case.

8. Prescribed myself: Some Disney Therapy by ordering this necklace.

mickey necklace
9. And this dress for my daughter: I can just imagine all the fun we’ll have doing Merida for our new Disney princess photo series.

My Little Princess: A cute and creative mother-daughter photo series featuring a biracial girl dressed up as Disney Princesses.
10. Sent out positive vibes: For a 2016 conference invite and enjoyed an encore viewing of UP with my littles. We’re making our way through our entire animated collection (99 movies and counting).

Ok here’s a tip, I didn’t do one of these things, can you guess which one? Did you get invited? How long have you been a hopeful?

Many years ago I often wondered if parents were just being nice when they said they couldn’t choose a favorite child, or when said they loved them each for different reasons. Yea yea, you’re just trying to be politically correct, I’d think. But really, tell me who you like best, I promise I won’t tell anyone.

Now that I have two kids of my own I have something to say about picking a favorite. Actually, I regularly find myself choosing one over the other. And I wouldn’t be surprised if most other parents do this too.

It goes something like this:

He says: Oh you’re going to the store after the gym? Do you mind grabbing me some cereal and protein powder?

She says: Sure, but I’m not bringing both of the kids.

He says: Ok, which one do you want?

Choosing one kid over the other. Parents won't admit it, but we all do it from time to time.I stop and think. What kind of shopping experience am I feeling up to today? Going out with just one child significantly reduces the time it takes, as well as my blood pressure during the duration of the trip.

So, am I feeling up to a quiet trip, possibly entailing a little bit of whining (which would just ensure I don’t take to long down the aisles), but definitely a mental break? If yes, I’ll take my son. The challenging thing about taking him is he doesn’t always want to stay put in the shopping cart.

If I let him down, at any moment he’s guaranteed to make a beeline for daylight or the nearest fragile item within reach. The key is keeping some snacks and portable toys on hand to entertain him while I finish my shopping.

I most definitely will have a time limit, probably not to exceed 20 minutes. I’ll have to be swift and precise, but I’ll have nothing but my thoughts to listen to. And that silence is golden.

If I choose my daughter, I’m in for a good time with some guaranteed amusing conversations and about 3-thousand questions.—Questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. I’ll have to use more brain power than I prefer to for a leisure shopping trip, and hold a somewhat challenging conversation all while making sure I don’t forget the reason I came to the store in the first place.

I won’t have to worry about chasing her around the store, however I’ll deal with constant negotiations for things she wants.

The trip will most likely be prolonged with requests to play with displays and try samples, but I can take as much time as I need. Physically I won’t be worn out, but by the time we check out I’ll be mentally exhausted.

It’s a pick your poison kind of situation, and most of the time, either one will be significantly easier than both. When it comes to choosing one over the other? It all depends on what kind of mood I’m in, how tired I’m feeling, and if I’m wearing my running shoes.

Do you prefer to take one kid over another shopping with you? At what point is it easier to bring everyone?

NIIIICE: Adj. A word used when someone does something very stupid. (Urban Dictionary)

Girl 1: Hey did you watch Scandal last night?
Girl 2: Yea, I loved it when… *trips*
Girl 1: Niiiice.

Cards that say what you mean

When we do something extremely lame, or graceless resulting in a non-serious injury my husband and I like to say “Niiiiiice!” Like… “Great job sport” *insert sarcasm*

Life is hardly any fun if you aren’t able to laugh at yourself. Some of my life’s most hilarious moments have been when I’ve completely made a fool of myself. The most notable moments I recall have all happened at work.

Let’s see, there was the time I was so largely pregnant I put two different shoes on and didn’t notice until I got to work on a shoot location. There was that time my breast pad shifted and I leaked through my top during an anchor shift. Most recently there was the time I injured myself in front of a slew of people.

Every week I get to work on an amazing story called Forever Families. I meet up with a foster child in need of a permanent home. We have a good time and I’ll sit down and interview them about the type of family they’d like to have, then write and edit a story to highlight them in this weekly segment.

I was hanging out with Marshall, an awesome 15-year-old who has been wanting to get adopted for years. (Check out his story here and share to help him find his forever family). We were having a good old time trying out different stunts, and facing our fears jumping off of high things into air bags below.

Our finale was running and jumping from an “exploding” van, which of course were just remote controlled flames shooting out for a second.

We had each ran and jumped on the mat once before and it worked out great. The photos looked cool with the exploding van behind us and us diving in the air away from it. Then we decided we wanted to jump together. We turned the mat sideways so we could both land on it, versus long ways as it was positioned before.

For some reason I had in my mind that the higher I jumped, the cooler it would look. When in reality you just had to jump a little, lean forward even, and it would look cool enough.

The man in charge of the flames gave us our cue and we ran, we jumped, and I flew… Right over the mat, clearing it and landing face first on the ground. My first thought was “Oh crap, I knocked my teeth out.” Then it was “Ouch” which I said out loud. Concerned bystanders asked if I was ok. I noticed blood on my shorts and thought I cut my leg, then realized it was coming from my chin. The cut wasn’t severe but it felt like a mother. I smiled and tried to laugh to keep from crying but holy cow, ouch.

Lucky for me, the photographer caught it all on camera, and Marshall asked to see the replay. I was scared to see it but after watching myself go down from everyone else’s perspective I busted out laughing. Front half of my body missing the landing point, my back half and feet flying in the air, nearly flipping over my body. Oh ouch.

“You should put that on YouTube!” Marshall told me. So I did.

The first take is what was suppose to happen, the second one is where I completely overreached.

And after all that, there was no explosion!

I told my family what happened and everyone wanted to see the video. Lil’ J sat in front of my laptop and replayed it over and over for about 20 minutes then asked me again and again if I was ok.

The last few times I’ve gone into work people have brought up my clumsy little incident. You know moments like these you’ll always remember as inside jokes with friends. They’re moments you should have theme songs for, or secret hand gestures, a wink, or thought bubbles. Or even a card.

I’m ok. It’s been three weeks and it still hurts when I yawn, and sometimes when I chew, but I’m hoping it’ll get better over time. In this case my face did hurt more than my pride but I’m glad I have the memory to look and laugh at forever.

Funny enough, this wasn’t the first time I cut my chin open at work. The first time was when I was 16. It was my first day of work at my first real job at a movie theater. I passed out during orientation. I needed stitches that time. My parents like to joke and say it was because I was so distraught about the idea of working.

What’s your most embarrassing moment? Did you laugh? Did you laugh at mine? (It’s ok, I’ll still love you if you did).

***

Studio Ink Greeting cards are totally random and a great way to share an inside joke with a friend. I laughed reading the cards Hallmark sent me, especially since there was one perfect for my ditzy blooper. I also just discovered Hallmark has free Studio Ink eCards you can send.

Inside joke cards

As you know I’m passionate about making and saving memories, I’m partnering with Hallmark to share some of my life’s special moments and occasions. All opinions (and typos) are and will always be my own.

LIASO Footer

Hi Lady,

I’m sorry I don’t know your name. I didn’t even take a moment to ask you or apologize for the fact that my son whacked you with a pencil… Or at least that’s what I assumed happened after seeing the disgusted look on your face. I tried to act like I didn’t see him with the pencil as you yanked it from his hands but really, I wanted to say thank-you. Thank you for peeling it from his death grip. I would have done the same except for two things:

1. My son finding that pencil was the best thing that had happened to me since we arrived at the library. Before then he was opening cabinet doors that wouldn’t stay shut, darting out of the storytime room each time someone came in or out, or running through the automatic doors he just discovered could take him outside into the parking lot.

2. Taking it from him myself would have guaranteed a colossal meltdown and I just wasn’t wanting to deal with that.

Sure, he could have poked someone’s eye out. It could have been yours or even his own, but I’ve learned he has impeccable running-with-pencil skills and was willing to take a chance.

A cute story about an adorable, mischievous, exhausting little boy.I’m sure when you looked over at me urging my daughter to have a seat, stay put, and listen to the librarian you probably thought, wow, this woman has her hands full she doesn’t even see her son with a dangerous deadly pencil. Yea, I get that a lot. Truth is my hands have been 5 times as full since having a second child and about 10 times that since my son started walking. It’s nice to go places where they can be entertained by someone else reading them a story every now and then, even if at times that occasionally involves walking around with potential hazards like writing utensils.

Also, for the record, I didn’t give him the pencil. It was within his reach on the table they had set up near the door he kept scampering through.

Thanks for not giving me the evil eye. I know you probably think I’m a terrible mother, which is why I avoided you the rest of the morning. But I’m really just trying to survive.

Sincerely,

Exhausted Mom

PS: A side note to the sweet librarian who insisted my son needed a crayon like all of the other kids coloring their art projects.

Thank-you for thinking of him. However I warned you my son sees crayons as a colorful snack more than a colorful crafting tool. Surprisingly he did manage to color his picture a little bit though, and his sister’s, and your back wall.

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget



I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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