Archive for the ‘baby-makin story’ Category

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I felt another contraction and wasn’t sure if it was as strong as the last few, or if the epidural was kicking in. I kept saying a silent prayer that I wouldn’t be one of those fluke cases of people who are immune to the proclaimed glorious drug.

As that contraction fizzled out I waited for the next but it never came. Well, it did but I didn’t feel it. I was in heaven.

I always thought it was so funny watching a Baby Story and seeing the 180 women did after having an epidural. The dreamy smiles they had on their faces and praises seemed a little overboard to me. Now that I was experiencing this for myself I knew EXACTLY how they felt, and they were not playing!

I had to tell every person who came into the room how wonderful the epidural was.

“Ooh mom, it’s working, this is great! I’m so glad it worked.” I told her.

“This is great, I’m so glad I got the epidural,” I told my nurse Elizabeth.

“This is amazing,” I told my OB and anyone else who would listen.

“Ep-i-DUR-al” I tried to coach my 5-year-old sister to remember the word for a couple of decades.

“I love you,” I said past my husband and to the bag of liquid gold dripping down through my IV.

The epidural man looked even sexier than before when he came back to check on me. Are all anesthesiologists hot? Everything was working great.

Now I was able to sit back, relax and enjoy the last few hours. I joked with my sisters, took a nap, watched TV, and played “guess what she’ll look like,” with my husband.

My OB checked on me, at about 3:30 and I was 8cm dilated, 100% effaced, and a 0 station. Woohooo!! I was on my way to having this baby, and no epidural was slowing me down!

Just an hour later I started to feel pressure in my booty. I didn’t tell anyone, but I knew she was squeezing her little self downward.

I was checked again around 6:30 or so, and fully dilated. My doctor explained since I had a lot of meconium in my amniotic fluid, NICU nurses and doctors would be on standby when my daughter was born. She said if she came out crying, we could continue as planned. She’d hand the baby to me right away, and my husband could cut the cord. But if she wasn’t crying right away, she’d need to be whisked to the people standing by, so they could check on her.

She went to finish something else up but she told the nurses we could start pushing and she’d be back. Sadly, that’s when Elizabeth’s shift was ending. So another nurse came in for the fun part.

There was quite a bit of down time before we got the pushing started. I took that to my advantage and decided to do what?—Take my hair down. My mom helped me unravel a couple dozen rollers from my hair, and get it in place for pictures after the pushing.

Elizabeth did get to see my hair out of rollers right before she left, and was impressed with my preparedness.

I asked for a mirror before she left (not for my hair, but to watch my baby come out) and they brought one out from the back room. I was back and forth on wanting to see but I figured if I had the mirror there I could always choose to look away.

My new nurse sat down beside me and said we could start pushing while we waited and see how much progress I could make.

My husband started to freak out a little, in shock mostly that we were actually about to have our baby. I told him to keep his eyes above my waist, and he had no problem obeying. Our nurse told him to warn her if he was going to pass out.

I didn’t feel a huge urge to push but I did feel pressure when I was having a contraction, and could feel the muscles I needed to use to push down. I pushed them on my own a little while I was waiting cause I could have sworn it felt like a baby was about to fall out of my vagina.

Once I could tell things were about to get going I told my mom I’d have my husband come get her once our baby was born. She and my sisters left to anticipate our daughter in the waiting room.

During a contraction the nurse asked me to push but immediately told me to stop.

“The baby’s head is right there,” she pointed in the mirror. “Can you see that?”

I could! And just as I had hoped, this said head had hair!

My nurse asked me not to push as she called my OB.

“She said you were going to be a great pusher,” my nurse told me. I wondered how anyone could have guessed that, but tried to take it as some sort of compliment.

So this isn’t going to take two hours. I thought to myself. I had heard pushing could easily take an hour, two or three, and get tiring. I was happy to hear it wasn’t going to take me that long.

My doctor asked the nurse to shut off the pitocin while we waited for her to get back. I was curious if it would do anything to stop my contractions or if they had picked up on their own. I had written in my plan to try to labor without pitocin after my contractions had picked up a set pattern and see if they could be self-sustainable. I never asked to try it because 1. I was afraid they’d stop and we’d have to start all over and 2. After getting the epidural I didn’t care.

As we waited I could see on the monitor that my contractions were dying down, not coming as often or as strong. I guess that’s why I was on pitocin in the first place. That moment re-confirmed my decision to be induced.

When my OB came back she came with a team of people, all dressed up in scrubs from head to toe. She reminded me of the different scenarios that would play out depending if my baby cried or not. I hoped she would cry so I’d know immediately that she was ok, and so that I could hold her right away.

She asked for olive oil to help ease the baby’s head out—She doesn’t do episiotomies. I tried not to watch the stretching but I was curious to see my progress at the same time.

We waited for a contraction, they asked if I could feel it, and even if I didn’t, I tried to just push when I felt like pushing. I imitated what I saw on TV, took a deep breath and PUUUSHED.

It didn’t hurt, though I imagine it would have if I didn’t have an epidural.

I pushed three times and they told me her head was about to come out. We had to wait awhile between contractions and I was anxious to meet her, so I didn’t want to stop pushing.

After a few more contractions they told me one more push and she’d be out. I thought they were joking—Or just telling me that as some sort of ploy to keep me motivated, and that they’d tell me “one more time” about five more times. But sure enough after the next push they told me my baby’s head was out, and with another little push she slid right out, and cried.

My doctor instantly handed her to me, slimy and all, and I kissed her little face and introduced myself to her as her mommy. I was happy she didn’t have a cone head, surprised as how chubby she looked, and at her strength. We lied chest to chest but she lifted her little head up to look at me. Newborns don’t do that. I thought. I was impressed already.

My husband, who was by my side all along had a permanent smile on his face.

He took the scissor-like tool from my doctor’s hand and cut our cord.

We sat together as a new family of three in our own little world for some time. I was in disbelief. I couldn’t—and still can’t wrap my brain around the fact that this was the same little faceless child that was in my womb for 9+ months.

When they finally took her away and weighed her they told us she was a big and healthy 9 pounds 9 ounces. All were impressed.

I did need a few stitches since I tore a little in the process, but I didn’t feel that either—Until later. Luckily there were pain meds for that too.

The experience is one I’ll remember forever. I went into this birth fearing the worst yet hoping for the best, and came out wondering why I had ever worried in the first place. I’ve learned to stick with my mother’s intuition and feel confidant in my choices, even if they differ from popular belief, or even my caregiver.

This story could have gone a million different ways, but in the end I got exactly what I wanted—My beautiful healthy little girl (and cute first family pictures).interracial familyinterracial familyinterracial family

Read the Preface
Read Part 1

Nurse Jennifer came in and checked on me several times throughout the night. She checked my blood pressure and temperature. I assumed it was always normal because she never really said much. Or I just don’t remember cause I was drugged up.

At 7 she came in and was more direct than she was the night before. Her shift was about over. She took out the Cervidil, said I could get up, take a shower, whatever, and my doctor would be in around 8 to get the pitocin going.

My new nurse arrived—Elizabeth. She had a personality I meshed with more. She was friendly, respectful and took time to answer all of my questions. I trusted her. Since I figured she’d be the nurse I’d spend a majority of my laboring with I decided I should give my basket of goodies with my birth wishes inside to her. She immediately read them and talked them over with me and the other nurses. She came back and told me she’d never seen a such a nice birth plan, and they all appreciated it.I had amended it from my original one since I was being induced, but most of my wishes remained the same.

My bishiop score was higher than before, and I was dilated to 2.5cm and almost completely effaced so we started pitocin at about 8:30.

People had told me contractions were stronger and more painful when you’re on pitocin, but since I had never really experienced real contractions anyway, I don’t think I know the difference.

I got out of bed and tried to work through the contractions alone. I turned on my upbeat, gangsta rap playlist, closed my eyes, and bounced and rolled on my birthing ball. All of my moving kept moving the monitors on my stomach so I turned and faced the monitors and watched my baby’s heartbeat.

In my Lamaze class they suggested finding a focal point. I didn’t realize it then but her heartbeat was mine. I just kept watching it and seeing that she was doing fine made me relax and push through each contraction.

Every half hour or so my pitocin was turned up a little bit, while they tried to find an amount that gave me contractions strong enough every 3-5 minutes.

Finally the pain was starting to get intolerable. Each contraction felt like my entire body was tensing up and getting SO TIGHT. I knew it was mostly my uterus tensing and that I needed to relax but it was hard to do.

Between contractions I felt completely fine, and I joked with my husband who was in the middle of a good book. Yea, so much for being my doulo!

I didn’t really want his help though. I mean, I knew he was there to support me but I felt better being in my own little zone with my music blaring in my headphones, rolling on my birthing ball, closing my eyes and breathing through my contractions like I learned in class… Breathing in for four seconds and out for eight seconds. I took a deep breath on each end of the contraction. It seemed so simple but it actually worked.

My OB came in to check on me. She knew I wanted to go as long as possible without pain medication so she asked me how I was doing and asked if I wanted to get checked and see how far dilated I was or if I wanted her to come back in a couple of hours. I knew if I was checked and only 3 or 4 cm dilated I’d be pissed, so I opted out of checking right then.

As stated in my birth wishes I wanted to wait until I was at least 5 or 6cm dilated before getting an epidural, and I’d seen and read enough birth stories to know how much it sucks when you get checked and aren’t as far along as you’d hoped.

The contractions continued to come stronger and stronger and more frequent. I thought I’d try listening to my birthing hypnosis since it put me to sleep so well in the months before labor. I must have started it too late in the day because by the time I turned it on I was beyond the point of consoling and about threw my iPod across the room. That’s when I started to loose focus, and I started to cry.

I didn’t cry hysterically or anything, I just shed some tears, which was my husbands cue to come over and try to somehow help with the pain.

Whenever I have a stomachache, or I’m battling period pains all I want to do is go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. It’s a strange means of coping but it usually helps. So when my contractions began to become unbearable I unplugged myself from the monitors and went and sat on the throne. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the nurses came and checked on me and checked to make sure my baby’s heartbeat was still doing ok with the pitocin. The door to our room opened and I heard a familiar voice. But it wasn’t the nurses, it was my mom.

I knew she was coming. She had left the night before, driving from Georgia with my two little sisters ages 5 and 13.

My first reaction was “oh no.”

I didn’t want my family to see me like this. In pain, crying. Unsure of what I was doing. But I was so uncomfortable I didn’t care. I was thinking of asking them to leave but my mom turned out to be the best help. She had been where I was 24 years earlier giving birth to me, with pitocin to help with contractions, and no pain medication. If she could do it, I could do it. Or at least stand it for a little longer.

Elizabeth turned up my pitocin again. Each time she pushed the button to increase the amount translated in my mind as an additional twist to the rack torture machine, slowly pulling my limbs from my body. I asked how much more they’d have to turn it up, and how much more it was going to hurt before they stopped she in turn asked me if I felt like it was strong enough.

“Yes,” I replied honestly. And 12mU is where were stopped the pitocin.

Another nurse asked me if I could lie down so they could put the monitors back on, but I told her it hurt too much to lie, and compromised in a sort of sitting/squat position on the edge of the bed, which felt the best to me since all I wanted to do was sit on the toilet. The nurse asked me if I felt the urge to push, and I didn’t, I just felt like curling up on the potty until the pain passed.

My mom rubbed my back, legs, and feet. She helped sooth me through each contraction, and helped my husband help me too. I was happy to have her there, and surprised by that. The rubs weren’t making the pain go away but the were giving me something else to focus on.

Elizabeth and the other nurse assistants knew not to offer me pain medications but my mom hadn’t read my birth wishes. Between contractions she asked me if I wanted to get an epidural. I enlightened her to my plan. I DID want an epidural, but I didn’t want to get one until I had progressed to at least 5cm. That way I’d be about 2/3rds of the way there and hopefully I wouldn’t slow down too much.

She heard me but seeing me writhing in pain must have been hard for her because she was still suggesting pain meds. She and one of the nurses offered a different kind of drug to put through my IV to take the edge off. Just a half dose to help. I agreed.

My mom called it Demerol, I guess that’s what she had back in the day, but that’s not what they gave me. I can’t remember the name. It didn’t do much to take away the pain. Actually it didn’t do anything but make me feel a little woozy, and make it so I could relax a little bit more during contractions.

I laid down for a few moments and breathed through my contractions. It was almost time for my OB to come back and check me. Elizabeth said she could check me first if I wanted. She said having contractions for as long as I was having them, and as strong as they were I had to have made some progress.

“How long have my contractions been like this?” I asked her in my dazed state. I had completely lost track of time as I was just trying to focus on each contraction as it came. She told me it had been a few hours. Still worried I’d hear a number I didn’t like, I decided to wait for my doctor.

At about 11:30, I was lying on my left side and breathing through a contraction when I all of a sudden felt a POP and a gush of fluids from below.

“I think my water just broke,” I announced to the room. “Either that or I just peed myself.” I surprisingly still had a small sense of humor through my pain. I was excited because I knew I had made progress.

I had asked that we wait until my water break on its own in my birth wishes and I was happy that it had cooperated. I also figure that meant I had made some progress and perhaps I was more than 3cm dilated. I knew that my contractions were going to begin to feel more intense and decided that I had “earned” my epidural, so I made my request.

Right after, my OB came in to check me. She noticed there was meconium in my fluid and lots of it. When I sat fluid kept gushing out of me and all over the place. Who knew there was all that water in me? And no wonder my cankles absorbed so much!

In case she hadn’t heard, I told my doctor I wanted an epidural, the nurses said they had already called the anesthesiologist. She checked my cervix and I was 5cm dilated. Awesome. I made it to 5cm, my water broke—Perfect timing for some drugs.

Just then the most handsome man I had ever seen walked into the room. Perhaps that’s how I remember him now, but I distinctly remember thinking, Everyone was right… The epidural guy IS hot.

I vaguely remember him telling me my last rights, or something like that. Risks, side effects, possibilities, yada yada, yea yea, GIVE ME THE DRUGS.

Luckily, I had read all of the risks and side effects before making my way to the hospital. I can’t imagine having been in the state of mind to really absorb much of what he was saying in that moment.

As I curled up on the side of the bed waiting for the alleged giant needle to be stuck through my back, I remember more warm fluid coming out of me, lots of it. It was the first time I had noticed the color and I honestly thought I was peeing all over the place, but I couldn’t stop it. I just kept saying I was sorry as a pool of water ran from my bed.

The epidural man told me step by step what he was doing. I am not a huge fan of needles, but I was less of a fan of the contractions, so I took the puncture like a champ.

He told me it would take about ten minutes to take full effect. I thanked him then said, “I hope this works.” I’d heard so many horror stories from people now advocating for a natural birth: “Oh it didn’t work for me” “it was horrible, I had the shakes” “it only worked on one side.”

My mom, who by then was back in the room, assured me it would work.
Part 3 coming tomorrow!

Dear Spawnie, Lady Bug, Baby Girl, Lil’ J:

There’ve been so many names I’ve called you through this journey but soon I’ll get to see your little face and call you by your real name.

Everyone always talks about how amazing it is to see your baby for the first time. I guess it’s one of those things you can’t imagine until it happens. It’s hard to picture what it will be like meeting you. Will I feel like I know you? What will I think of you? What will you think of me?

It’s funny but I keep jokingly telling people “I hope she’s cute,” I know you will be but it’s just so strange having no idea what you look like. I wish we had done those 4D ultrasounds, but I guess it’ll be an even better surprise when we see you.
It’s funny thinking I’m going to have you forever and I didn’t really have a say in what you’re going to be like. See, with Snoop I got to pick him out of the bunch. I picked a calm, cute puppy. With you, well… You chose us! I guess that says something. It probably means we’re in for it!

If I had to guess what you’d be like I’d guess you’ll come out with squinty eyes, like mine, though I would love it if they were big and round like your daddy’s. I kinda hope they are grey because then you have a chance of them staying light-colored and maybe having blue eyes like him!

I think you’ll have a nose like mine, and a chin like mine. It already looks like you do from the ultrasounds we saw.

I think you’re going to have lots of dark curly hair. At least I hope you do! Your daddy and I both had lots of curly hair when we were born. His was read though. I don’t think your hair will be red. That would be crazy!

I think you’ll be pretty chubby since you’ve had so much extra time to bake. Your daddy was over 10 pounds at birth and I was well over 7 pounds and I was quite early. The doctor hasn’t made any guesses but if I were to guess I’d say you’re going to be about 8lbs 5oz. That’s my guess but we’ll see. I think you’ll be long too… Maybe 22in.

I don’t think you’re going to cry a ton when you’re born, though I kind of hope you do. I hope you like me when you see me. I hope you are a good eater. I really hope you wiggle as much as you do inside me now.

In fact, I’m sure you’re ready to come out cause last night you were wiggling SO MUCH. I’m not sure how you have room to wiggle but I’m sure you were trying to bust out of this joint. I even caught you on video!

Last night your dad and I were so excited we could hardly go to sleep. I told him I felt like I was waiting for Christmas and he said “yea me too!” We’re both so anxious and excited to meet you. We were actually kinda bored last night.. Something I’m sure we won’t be feeling for a long time!!

Please come here safely little one! I can’t believe the next letter I write to you you’ll be OUT HERE! In the world!

I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with you little one. We’re in for an adventure!

Love you so much little Spawnie!

Anxiously awaiting,

Mommy

Dear Lil’ J,

I must say this week has been one full of MAJOR mood swings for me. One day I’m so ready for you to come out and ready to take over my new “mommy role” then the next moment I’m totally freaking out wondering what I was thinking.

Don’t you worry little girl, I’ve read these feelings are normal, and I’m going to be just fine when we meet, it’s just scary thinking that the way I’ve experienced and seen life, my entire life will be completely different in a matter of weeks.You are getting so close to coming out too, I can tell. I have just been feeling different lately, it’s hard to explain, it just feels like things are revving up for your big day. Also… This is a little icky (TMI ALERT!), but the mucus plug that blocks you from the outside world, so to speak, came out today! Yep, I was very surprised to see it. It wasn’t what I expected… I pictured one big solid wad of mucus shaped like a cork plug that would go in an over-sized bottle of sparkling cider, but it was nothing like that. It was more like a lot of snot coming out.

(Note to self… Don’t show you this letter until you’re old enough to appreciate these labor-signs and emotional roller coasters.)

Anyway, I caught you on camera last week, FINALLY rolling around in there. You always stop when I get the camera out so I bought an app for my iPhone so I now have video capabilities! You weren’t as rowdy as you can get but I got a little movement here. Don’t mind the background noise, I was watching Forensic Files. Look towards my belly button and you can see your elbow or shoulder or something moving around.

This week you’re about 6.8 lbs… I’m thinking you may be a little bigger, though I can’t picture you being super big just cause it’s hard imagining a full-sized baby in there!

Your eye color is either brown, or maybe grayish. I kind of hope they are gray-looking cause then they can change to one of many colors, and I think you would look so cute with your daddy’s eyes. That’s the first thing I noticed about him!

I’m predicting you’ll decide to come out sometime next week, but I’m still hoping you stick around and come on the 23rd… The day your daddy and I met. Although it would also be pretty cool if you arrived on Father’s Day. What a nice present for your dad that would be! I wouldn’t even have to get him anything else! As long as you come in June (I like that month better than July) we’ll be good. But I don’t think that’ll be a problem.
I wake up every morning wondering if I’m having contractions or if my water broke… Nope and nope. I’m sure I’ll know when it’s for real, but it’s exciting wondering when it’ll happen.

I got so much work done at work this week, I finished the 12 extra stories I was trying to get ahead on for maternity leave and now I feel like I’m more relaxed and ready.

Our bags are packed, your daddy and I will put your car seat in hopefully Monday, the same day the cleaners come over and the same day Snoop is getting cleaned up at the groomers. I’m also going to get a nice relaxing manicure and pedicure that day. I already got my hair done this week! So needless to say, I’m on my way to getting fully pampered for the big day!

Don’t worry, I’m bringing cute stuff for you to wear too, hats and blankets and bows! I can’t wait to dress you up.

Your daddy and I were talking tonight about how we feel about bringing you home. Neither of us are worried about you crying a lot or loosing sleep. I think we just expect it, and are excited for the challenge. Plus, we know it’ll all be worth it.

I’m eager to meet you but not in too much of a rush. Something about knowing you’ll be here in a few weeks regardless makes me content. We’re almost there baby girl! I can’t wait to see your beautiful face.

Love,

Mommy

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PS: Winner of the ExpectNet.com pool (it’s free) gets a $25 gift card to Target! It’s just for fun, but I’m loving seeing the guesses! Make sure you include your blog url and/or twitter/email in the “how she knows you” section so I can contact you!


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Dear Lil’ J,

We’ve made it! You won’t be premature if you’re born any time now so you are good to come whenever!! I still have projects I’m trying to finish at work and like I said before, the cleaners are coming on the 14th, so it would be nice if you could wait another week or so but really, I know it’s up to you. I just wish I knew when you were coming so I could plan accordingly. But I guess this is just getting me prepared for you running the show for the rest of my LIFE!
I should be done with my work stories after this next week, I’m hoping I am at least, it’ll be so nice to feel completely and totally ready and I think I will after that. Right now I worry if I went into labor I’d have to go to work and rush to get things done before going to the hospital. It’s crazy I know. I’m obviously not that worried though or else I wouldn’t be taking a vacation day today and writing to you right now. It’ll all work out!
We are going to put your car seat in the car this weekend, and hopefully go get it checked somewhere before bringing you home in it to make sure we did it right. It can’t be too hard right?
Oh my goodness, I downloaded a video ap on my iphone and FINALLY caught you moving in my belly on video! I’m glad I’ll have that to save.
We went to the doctor this week and she measured my tummy and said “Wow, you have a big baby!” I couldn’t help but smile cause at least that means you’re healthy right?
She says you’re very long, you don’t have much room in there as your head is very far down, and your butt is all the way up in my ribs… Your legs are squished in there too. She predicts if you go to your due date you’ll most likely be well over 8lbs and maybe as long as I was… 22 inches! I guess we’ll see.
She also said you may get a bit of a conehead coming out which worries me a little. I know it’s not permanent but I already sometimes have scary dreams about you coming out as an alien, so a conehead may remind me a little of that.
It’s ok though, we have lots of cute beanies we can over it up with until it goes down if that’s the case.
We also checked and we’re already dilated 1cm. So just 9 more to go!! Woohoo. I’m trying to walk a lot, park further away, do yoga, jump around and stuff to help the process. I also bought some Evening Primrose Oil pills… who knows if they’ll work. I didn’t start taking them yet but I may in about a week and a half.
I have your going home outfit packed with a cute dress, sweater, hair bow, and mary jane socks to match but my friend Danielle sent me these ADORABLE shoes and hair bow from Curly Birdie. So now I either need to change your outfit so they match, or get another pair… Oooh they are SOOOO cute! I don’t spend $20 on my own shoes Lil’ J, cause I have big ugly feet, but I will for you! Your feet are little and cute!
I may get you these to match the cute outfit I already have packed for you! We’ll see though, I have to ask your daddy, and he thinks you already have enough shoes. … Don’t ever let a man tell you you have enough shoes Ladybug.
We are so excited for you to get here. I can hardly contain myself! I would say keep growing but maybe I should be more specific… Keep growing hair, cute chubby cheeks, and chubby legs. Keep getting smarter and practicing your blinking, thumb sucking and all that other stuff that will help you when you get out. Oh, practice sleeping too, we’ll both be needing some of that once you come out.
I love you baby girl, I can’t wait to meet you!
Love,
Mommy
Ok, let’s here your guesses, what did you vote in the poll, when do you think she’ll make her debut? My guess/hope: June 23rd!

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Dear Lil Miss J,

Like how I have a new nickname for you every week? I like Lil J right now. Spawnie is beginning ot wear off… You seem less and less spawn-like the closer we get to D-day, which believe it or not is in FOUR WEEKS!! At the end of the week we’ll be full term and you will be ready to come out at any time! I’d really prefer if you waited a little while longer though. I have some cleaners coming on the 14th and I’m thinking I’ll get my hair and nails done on the 15th. Speaking of my nails, they are SO LONG! I need to get them cut so I don’t scratch your pretty face. That gives you 10 days… I don’t mind if you come after the 15th, you’ll be good and big, and I’ll be done with important work stuff by then too. Actually, I sort of like the 20s best, so sometime between the 20th and 29th would ROCK! Got that? Jot that on your Wombberry.

I had a dream you were born on the 19th, but it was the 19th today and I was worried about missing work that day… Crazy dream, I can tell you that won’t happen in real life, don’t you worry!
I know it’s a little inconsiderate of me to try to tell you when to come out, I mean, you are in charge, don’t you worry, but I just want you to know my preference. I like June better than July so you’ve gotta come before July! I know statistics show a lot of first-time moms go past their due dates but I don’t think that’ll be the case with you. I can feel it.. You’ll be right around your due date, if not… I think early!

Lil J, this week I’ve been SO TIRED. I haven’t had the energy I use to have! I come home and just want to plop down on the couch, take a nap, and when I finally get the strength I try to work on things for your room, or pack some more in the hospital bag, or work on our labor and just meeting playlists.

I haven’t wanted to touch my computer or anything! I’ve just been to exhausted! I have SO MUCH on my mind that I’d love to write about but I am too tired to put it all down. What have I been thinking about? Well, here’s a few topics on my mind lately:

My new quick thoughts on labor
My cure for cankles
Books I’ve picked out for you
My thoughts on breastfeeding you

One of these days, hopefully soon I’ll get them all down while they’re fresh in my mind to remember. I hear there’s another burst of energy right at the end of my pregnancy and I can’t wait for that! I’ve got some stuff I want to get done! Until then though I’ll enjoy my rest, because I’m sure I’ll be missing it once you’re born.Another sign that means you’re getting closer to coming is that I think you’ve dropped! I woke up this morning and your butt wasn’t in my ribs as normal. In fact, all day you’ve felt lower, and I can tell with the way my belly now rests on my legs that you’re lower! So exciting! To make sure I compared this weeks photo to last week’s photo and sure enough, you’re looking lower! … And more pointy. A woman at work today guessed you’d be coming next week! …But you can’t come that soon ok?

Some women I know who had due dates close to mine have recently delivered their babies, so it’s weird thinking how close we are!
You’re still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. You now weigh almost 6 pounds and are probably more than 18 1/2 inches long. You’re shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered your body as well as the stuff that covered and protected your skin during your nine-month amniotic bath. You’re swallowing that stuff, and other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, that’ll form the contents of your first bowel movement. Hopefully you won’t have that until you get out!

Keep growing little girl, we are ALMOST there and our lives are about to change FOREVER. I can’t wait!

Love,

Mommy

***

Time to take bets (not really) when do you think she’ll show up? Early, late? On time? Vote in my poll (top left) and let me know what you chose!

Are you 36 weeks pregnant? Check out Pregnancy Corner for more on how your body and baby are developing- Sponsored.Winner of the Modern Bird Studio’s Giveaway: Random.org says #222, Tanya! Congrats! Email me your address and I’ll get you in touch with Modern Bird Studios!

Dear Daughter,

I’m writing this on a big milestone day… We are 35 weeks today and have 35 days to go! I was so excited when I counted and realized that and wanted to tell everyone how cool it was, then I realized that it’s not just MY pregnancy and due date that happens to have that coincidence… But everyone who makes it to 35 weeks has the same milestone. So much for thinking we were unique! I can be a ditz sometimes.
I’m so excited to meet you in about a month but at the same time I’m like “woah! slow down!” I really don’t mind being pregnant and sometimes I think about how fast it’s going and wish I could just put it on “pause” for a little while so I can finish preparing for you.

There’s still so much to do with work before I leave, and many things I’m trying to get organized and cleaned around the house. Nothing is as important as you are but I just know things may be a little chaotic for awhile when you first get here so I’d like to feel settled before if I can so I can devote all of my time and energy to you without stressing about other things… If that’s even possible.

I know it’s silly but I’ve been making a lot of things still. Crafting and putting things together for your room is my new favorite hobby. You daddy says if I spent this much time with the rest of the house our place would look really nice. That may be true but I’d much rather just have your area be the cute spot.

I never use to like decorating before but now I’m beginning to, maybe I’ll get more into it now that I’ve gotten a taste.

This week I made you three things, and a fourth thing or you room.
I made this piggy bank for you. I painted your name on one side and painted ladybugs all around it. It sorta looks like a 5 year old made it but oh well, one day maybe you’ll appreciate it. I’ll start collecting change for you and teach you how to save with it when you’re old enough.

I also made you a toybox. You don’t have many toys yet but we’ll work on that. Books can go in here too, you have LOTS of books already. Here’s how the toybox started…
Not pretty. It had crayon marks on it and it was pretty yucky looking, but only $20 on Craigslist. So I cleaned it, added primer, and lots and lots of white paint and some gloss!It got to looking pretty but what REALLY made it come together is this vinyl I got from the Etsy shop Jazzy Graphics.They were so nice and sent me your name and extra butterflies when I told them I was making a toybox for you. I’m so excited with how it turned out and I think you’ll love it! Your daddy really likes what I did with it. He’s impressed with my skills.

I still need to make it safe so you don’t squish your fingers. I’ll add a hinge so it’ll close slowly, then some padding in the corners to keep it from shutting too tight.

I also made these pillows for your room this week, they match your bedding and curtains.And I made these baskets to go up on the ledge in your room!
And finally… I made this paper chain.Some would say it’s a little childish but I love making paper chains to count down to things I’m excited for. I had one for my wedding, for when your dad and I were going to be reunited when we spent a summer apart, and now for your arrival! I must say this is my prettiest one yet!

It’s not like I need a reminder that you’re coming, I think about that all of the time, but it’s a fun way to count down the days.
You’re about 5 and 1/4 pounds now, and about 18 inches, which is crazy to think you’re like a full-sized baby! Your kidneys are fully developed, you’re mostly just getting chubber and chubbier now, which is good. I want some chubby cheeks to kiss! It’s weird looking at these baby drawings. I remember when it depicted you as a little worm-looking thing. The nickname “Spawnie” was much more appropriate then.

I feel like I can feel you from all sides at once at times! Other times I get paranoid when you’re napping, but you nap a lot more now, and there’s less room for you, so I’m not feeling as many hard kicks as I do just you squirming around. I’m trying to pay special attention since we’re on the home stretch now and I want to get you here safely! Just two more weeks until you’re full term and can come out any time!

We had a doctor’s appointment this week though and oh how you were moving! Our doctor just sat and stared at you moving around your… She said knee, but I would have guessed foot or something.

Oh, you really like Beyonce. Especially that song “Single Ladies” I’m not sure what it is with babies and that song. I think you’re going to be a little dancer!

I hope you’re having fun in there. Keep cooking a little longer baby girl. Just 5 more weeks and we can play all you want!

Love,

Mommy

***

Check out Pregnancy Corner to learn more about being 35 weeks pregnant.

There have been many times throughout my pregnancy where I’ve done something incredibly dumb and chalked it up to this thing I heard about called “preggo brain.” Your body is working so hard to create life that it sometimes stops fueling the thinking part of yours.

I’ve stressed over losing things that I actually was just holding in my other hand, written down the wrong addresses, had numerous misspellings, failed to solve simple math addition without a calculator, forgotten my own name. It’s pretty normal these days for me to do something stupid on a daily basis. But what I did yesterday pretty much takes the cake.

That morning I hit the snooze button at least five times on my phone. My back was hurting the night before and I didn’t sleep very well. I was completely exhausted and didn’t want to get out of bed. By the time I did get up I was running late for work and needed to hurry and get ready.

It was Wednesday, which meant I’d be working on a story about foster kids, and featuring them to help them get adopted. That means I don’t have to get all dressed up in business attire like I normally do. I can slip on a pair of jeans, a casual maternity top and go.

In a hurry I run downstairs, where my shoes are, slip them on, grab my purse and kiss my husband goodbye.

By the time I get to work it’s right on time for me to be able to print our directions to where we’re doing the filming, and hook up with my photographer. I say hi to a few people but I’m pretty much in and out of the building.

The first shoot we were doing was at a boxing club. Once we got there my photographer realized he forgot the memory card to record the story on, so he dropped me off to meet with the people inside, while he drove back to the station to get what we needed.

I walk in and introduce myself to the hosts as well as the 13-year-old foster child. I told them we forgot our disk and that it would be another few minutes but we could just hang out and chat in the meantime. There’s about five different adults there. Some of them volunteer at the boxing club, a couple were the boy’s foster parents, and one of the ladies was a woman I work with for coordinating the kids we interview.

We’re all getting friendly, and since there were chairs up against the wall I figure it would be a good idea if we sat down and talked since it was going to be a little while.

As I look down to make sure I don’t fall while I sit (my balance is a little off) I notice something incredibly wrong, something I should have noticed an hour ago, something someone should have noticed long before I noticed, and someone probably did notice but was too confused or embarrassed to tell me. I notice this:
(actual photo from the scene)

Yes, I’m wearing miss-matching shoes. This is WAY worse than accidentally slipping on a navy blue with a black sock, or even two black shoes that are different styles. Not only am I wearing shoes that are two different colors, they’re COMPLETELY different styles. I silently wondered how in the world I didn’t feel the difference sooner, given that one of my feet was half exposed, and the other was covered by a loafer.

I immediately tuck my enormous size-11 feet under my chair and pray no one notices. But I don’t have a desk job where I can hide my feet until the clock strikes five. There was no way no one was going to notice. I needed to do something.

I debated taking my shoes off. Sometimes that’s appropriate, depending on the shoot… But this was not the case. Being a gym, it would not only probably look just as awkward as my miss-matching shoes, but I’d probably contract some sort of foot disease in the process.

I knew I had to be up front.

I thought of ways to admit my mistake. I debated making up an excuse like: “I hurt my foot and this is the only combination of shoes that I can wear.”

Or: “It’s miss-match shoe day at work.”

But I knew I wouldn’t be able to play it off and that it would just be best if I came out and was honest about my dumb mistake.

“Want to hear a funny story?” I asked, breaking the ice. I went through my story of being in a hurry to get ready for work, and ended with the punchline. I brought my feet out from under the chair.

Everyone about died laughing. I laughed too, but I was still incredibly embarrassed, especially when one of the ladies pulled out her camera to take pictures and I realized that from now on when they see me on TV they’d remember me as “the newslady who wore the wrong shoes.”

To my credit, it was dark when I slipped the shoes on my feet, the heels were the same height, so I wasn’t walking lopsided, and I did have this obstructing my view:But most of all, I have the excuse of pregnancy, and the dreaded disease that comes with it called “Preggo Brain.”
(After filming that story I did have a chance to go home and change my shoes before the next shoot, and before more humiliation. I am able to laugh about it now.)

***
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Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget



I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

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