Sometimes I like to dig through my old blog posts and see what kinds of gems I can find. After all this space has served as a sort of diary for me. Well sometimes I stumble upon junk, trash even. And I don’t know whether to shake my head, laugh, or cry at some of the things I put to pen.

Several years ago, way before I had kids, I wrote a blog post asking what stay at home moms did all day. Feast your eyes on this snippet: “It’s not like you don’t have a choice in the matter, and at the end of the day many say it’s the best job in the world. The best?… Maybe. The hardest?… Not buying it.”

Ouch right? I went on about how all you have to do is feed the kids, bathe them, maybe clean up a little, try to teach them a thing or two and play with them. As if all those things could be done in half and hour and then you could sit down and enjoy a book.

I hadn’t a clue.

I’m still getting hate mail for that post.

Not only did I not stay at home but I didn’t even have kids. I didn’t realize that just because you can stay in your PJs all day, doesn’t mean you have an easy job to do.

As a teenager, I worked in a daycare for a few years with kids between the ages of one and three. I suppose this made me feel like I was qualified to guess what motherhood was like. I followed a schedule stapled to a bulletin board and had nothing to do but focus on the kids 100%. We did a daily craft, sang songs, played games, had snacks and lunch. I even put all 8 to 13 kids down for naps by myself. How could motherhood be much harder?

Honestly, I still don’t know how.

But it is.

Cleaning at home isn’t as simple as dumping toys in a plastic bin and disposing of food scraps in the cafeteria. And oh yea, I wasn’t even in charge of the menu or food prep back then.

After just one year into my adventures of being home with my two kids, I was singing a different tune. I quickly learned in that same eight-hour span of being awake with my kids, answering their every question, finding ways to entertain them, giving them food and snacks, I was stretched pretty thin.

Perhaps part of this is because I care so much. I liked the kids I watched every day at the daycare, but I was no one compared to their own mothers. I was a stand-in that hugged away boo boos, changed diapers, and kept babies happy while their moms took care of work for 40-50 hours a week. But I wasn’t mom. The kids knew it, the moms knew it, and so did I.

How to take a DSLR selfie: Self portrait photography ideas and ways to get in the picture with your kids. Remote DSLR tutorial.

Love alone is exhausting. It’s tiring caring so much about these little people I’ve created. Caring about what they eat, what they watch, answering my daughter’s every question because I don’t want her to think I’m ignoring her. Picking my son up any time he asks because he won’t be this small forever.

This is my official apology to any stay-at-home moms I may have offended. I’m one of you now — and it’s not as easy as I thought.


Tags: , , ,

AmyRYb says:

I think you probably have it a little harder than most because you’re homeschooling and trying to work part time, so you still have a lot to accomplish while you’re there. I think being a SAHM is really hard, but I think there are a couple key things to consider. I have only had three SAHM stints–two were for maternity leave and one was when I lost my job and spent about 11 weeks at home. I pretty much discount the maternity leaves because they are all about taking care of a helpless baby and trying to get yourself in some sort of livable form amidst sleep deprivation and post-delivery recovery. My unemployment felt a little more typical, though I had one in school and kept my baby in daycare two days a week. I felt it was important so we wouldn’t lose our spot and he’d stay in that routine, and I’d have time to job hunt/interview. I honestly enjoyed the heck out of that time because it gave me a chance to play with my little guy when we weren’t both exhausted, and I had more time in the day to get everything done, rather than cram it all into a few hours. Physically being around my house all day to do laundry or dishes, or to be able to get errands out of the way midday made such a huge difference in how I spent my evenings and weekends. I wasn’t rushing to cram everything in, so I had more time to be a present mom, which made a huge difference to me. BUT…when you have multiple kids and/or no naps, I can see how it would be more exhausting than working away from home as you never get a break from the requests or 4,000 questions. In that case I think evening time away is a must-have. While I felt like my stress level was lower, I can also imagine that the financial strains of one worker (I was on severance, thank God) would ramp up stress on that side of things, too, so I think it’s such a complex issue depending on your situation and what you’re used to. But there are definitely perks and challenges no matter which way you go.

Adanna says:

I totally get where you are coming from. After I had my daughter I decided that I would tell my former childless self to just shut up because I didn’t know what I was talking about. I still didn’t learn my lesson though. Now that I have my son too, I realize that having two kids is even more different and difficult than being a parent of just one, and in more ways than I would’ve anticipated. My daughter will be two next month and my son is six weeks, and yes, I planned it that way. What was I thinking…

Michelle says:

If all females could see this awesome piece of work! I love being a stay at home mother with a fourth one on the way. I homeschool and just about run all the financial things for my husband. God is good (Lord Jesus)! Btw, you have a beautiful family.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Hi! I’m Jennifer Borget



I'm a part-time journalist, full-time wife and mother striving to make the world a better place and inspiring others to do the same. This is the space where I share my journey in making the most of every day.

My Photography Course

My Photography Course

Featured Posts

diy-onsie-cardigan-tutorial

adventures-in-homeschooling

30-things-my-kids-should-know-about-me

Aurora-tutu-dress-tutorial-3

kid-movie-reviews

disney-family-travel

photo-backup-tutorial


Find me on Google Plus


watch @jenniferborget on

Inspiring Moments Positive Parenting Spreading Joy
What has two wheels and makes playing with my kids more fun?
My journalism career just ended, but this is what’s breaking my heart
My husband is convinced we are never ever moving again
Family Travel Food & Culture Homeschooling
10 (Annoying) Questions I’m Asked When People Learn My Children Attend School from Home
Interracial Family Easter photo for 2017. Sharing my beliefs.
Belief
Discovering Israel with Vibe Israel
Mormons and Jews: We’re More Alike Than We Think
Creating With Kids (DIY) Disney Motherhood Pregnancy & Baby
She made the squad: Now I’m hoping I made the right decision
I finally got the gift I’d always wanted as a child
An Official Apology to Stay at Home Moms
Interracial Marriage Multiracial Parenting Our Family History Photography & Videos
Then and now: Sports fandom 11 years later
I finally got the gift I’d always wanted as a child
Shutterffly make my book service review. A perfect Mother's Day gift. Even if it's last-minute.
A Perfect Mother’s Day Gift the Whole Family Can Enjoy